Divine: A Novel Read Online Free

myself as brilliant. I want to know what I’m getting into
before I get into it, or it gets into me, if you know what I mean.
    Voice, check. Scent, check. Dick, check.
Three down.

CHAPTER
THREE
    T hat was... ummm... interesting? It was a
good date and it turns out Daniel Keller is a townie. Born, raised, and
schooled in this university town of thirty thousand. And now he writes product
reviews. He gets paid for articles and to write reviews for companies in order
to boost their sales and ratings. He does it for authors and musicians
sometimes as well. No joke. I almost spit out my meatball when he told me.
Isn’t that ironic? And I thought what I was doing online by having a street
team was unethical...
    I didn’t fuck him, by the way. He didn’t
get to any bases, and when he moved in for a kiss, I stepped back leaving him
high and dry. No nooky and no phone numbers were exchanged, not yet. I have too
many other things to do tonight. I have to talk to the Dick Sluts. I need to
sell some books. I need to make some money so I can quit my fucking job. I
can’t let Dan distract me from my plans. This is important; it’s my life, my
future. The guy’s sexy and I like him, but he’ll have to wait.
    Violet
Cuddlecock
    Have you Sluts read my new dark erotic
novel? It might be an ugly cry for some. Something different than all the rest.
You won’t be disappointed!
    65 people like this.
    Violet Cuddlecock’s my pen name. It’s a
good one for the genre. Better than a few I’ve seen recently. It’s as if
everyone has jumped on the ‘Grey, James, Beautiful, Millionaire, Promised, Step
Brother, and so on’ bandwagon, trying everything possible to make their books
and names sound like the popular ones. Anyone else notice that? Well, they may
just be the smart ones because I went the alternate route and their books do
far better than mine. I’m not a clone, at least not that I’m aware of, but
writing a book is similar to creating a piece of art, it’s impossible to be
truly original, so I should’ve jumped on that train like all the rest.
Everything’s been done anyway, so what does it matter? My students shake their
heads when I tell them that about their designs, but it’s true. No matter what
you write or create, it will remind someone, somewhere, of something else.
    I know this, but I wrote it in my post
anyway. Something different from all
the rest .
    So my street team gets to work. I sit in
bed with my laptop and my long list of Facebook fans, asking them to comment on
my post. I want it to stay at the top of the newsfeed. Every time there’s a
comment added it jumps back up. That’s no secret; I’ve seen a lot of authors do
this on other sites. They post their book, readers comment, and then when it
starts to disappear into the Facebook vortex they add a short sentence to boost
it back up. Like, thank you, or glad you enjoyed it!
    It makes me want to vomit, seriously,
this isn’t something that I’m proud of, but I play the game and it works. After
a while more people post that the book sounds good, some say they just
one-clicked, while others post that it’s on their TBR list. Marketing, my
friends. The entire world is run by ads. When you don’t have a publisher, this
is one way to sell books, homegrown advertising.
    Oh fuck, there she is. Another author
named Kimmy Firestorm.
    Jesus, now that I think of it, authors’
names in the erotic genre are perfect for the WWE. Erotic books and
professional wrestling are one and the same. Next match in the ring will be
Violet Cuddlecock versus Kimmy Firestorm. Ding-ding-ding.
    I should’ve called myself Firestorm; that is a good name, it goes along with my
dark auburn brown hair.
    I’m a member of over forty author and
book sites and Kimmy’s on every one of them. She’s one of those Facebook whores
who clog the wall with multiple posts. Every fifteen minutes, Buy my books, sweeties! I love you all!
XOXO!
    I want to send her a message, reminding
her of the