Destroy All Cars Read Online Free Page B

Bedtime:
    When I can’t take it anymore.
    Your Most Missed Memory:
    Being so young I did not understand what was happening to the world.
    Pepsi or Coke:
    Is that a choice?
    McDonald’s or Burger King:
    For what? Killing yourself?
    Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea:
    You’re joking.
    Chocolate or Vanilla:
    Shut up.
    Tea or Coffee:
    Nobody cares!
    Do you Smoke:
    I don’t but I might as well.
    Do you Sing:
    I scream pretty damn good.
    Do you Shower Daily:
    I scrub the sickness of my species off myself every day. It always comes back.
    Have you been in Love:
    It took you long enough. Yes, I have been in love. Now ask me some questions about it. And how about some questions about sex?
    Do you want to go to College:
    I thought these quizzes were supposed to be about sex? And dating. And girls. I want to answer questions about my love life and if I like long walks on the beach and what my favorite color is. Then I want you to calculate my “score” or my “type” and tell me what kind of girl I should be with and preferably arrange a meeting with her so that I don’t have to leave my room.Also some pictures of that (or any) girl in various states of undress would be nice.
    Do you want to get Married:
    Married? I haven’t even got laid yet! What is your problem? These tests are supposed to be fun! It said right on the top: “For amusement purposes only.”
    Do you believe in yourself:
    That is the only thing I believe in.
    Do you think you are Attractive:
    I am a certain type. If you like that type, you’ll like me.
    Are you a Health Freak:
    In a way.
    Do you get along with your Parents:
    I do not waste my time fighting with my parents, who are typical CONSUMER AMERICANS. They don’t understand me, anyway. I never ask for the car. I never ask for money. What’s wrong with me? I wear old clothes that I buy myself. I must be mentally ill. That’s how my parents think, all right? They are not worth talking about, and they are definitely not worth fighting with. What would be the point?
    Do you like Thunderstorms:
    Yes! And there are going to be a lot of them in the future, so I am in luck! There will also be more hurricanes, tornadoes, heat waves, and other “unusual” weather patterns because we’re filling theatmosphere full of ungodly chemicals. “Gee,” we say as we sit in our CO2-spewing SUVs, “what’s up with the weird weather?”
    Do you play an Instrument:
    Only when I consume certain gaseous combustibles.
    In the past month have you Drunk Alcohol:
    Bud Light, (burp) every chance I git.
    In the past month have you Smoked:
    Marlboro Reds, (cough) ever chance I git.
    In the past month have you been on Drugs:
    Spark a bowl (cough cough hacking cough) every chance I git.
    In the past month have you gone on a Date:
    With my hand! Har har har!
    In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
    Oreos are irrelevant to everything that I stand for. But I like them. And I consume them on occasion.
    In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
    Sushi is from Japan. The important thing to know about Japan is that their robot technology is far advanced over ours. This is a national disgrace. When it is 200 degrees on the face of the earth and all the people aredead, the Japanese robots will be sipping iced drinks in their shady palaces while our feeble American robots fan them with palm leaves.
    What is your favorite TV Show:
    Nova, Discovery Channel, anything with robots in it.
    What is your Favorite Band:
    Ima Robot
    What is your Favorite Movie:
    I, Robot
    What is your Favorite Book:
    The Robot Manifesto
    In the past month have you been Dumped:
    Depends on what you mean by dumped. Do you mean emotionally devastated by the sudden withdrawal of love by someone you totally trust and depend on? Do you mean sent into a death spiral of mental anguish by your soulmate tearing herself away from you without warning? Do you mean your whole world collapsing all around