know.â
âWhyâd your mom act like that?â
I didnât know what to say. Jack was right there. Soniaâs face was red. My stomach turned, and I held on to the banister.
âItâs nothing,â I said. âMy momâs been a little crazy lately with Sef leaving.â
âCrazy?â Sonia repeated. âThatâs a good excuse.â
Sonia marched down the rest of the stairs and didnât even look back. I heard her announce, âI donât feel good. I want to go home.â
âOh, honey, what is it? You look flushed. Are you hot?â her mother asked.
âI donât know.â
âWhy donât I take you home.â
âI want Dad to come too,â Sonia said.
âCan we wait until the end of the quarter?â Eric asked.
âNo.â Sonia turned and walked out the front door.
The LeClaires went home, and the Patriots lost.
When I told Sef about it, he said, âThatâs just Mom. She was probably fooling around, you know how she is.â
âYou sure about that?â I asked.
âIâll ask her.â
âNo.â
âYes.â
âNo.â
Sef sighed. âShe is having a pretty hard week, Cass.â
â¢Â â¢Â â¢
She wasnât the only one having a hard week. I emailed Sonia, texted, and called, but she didnât answer. She kept her head down and answered with one word when I asked her anything. Then nothing. Zilch. When I carried my tray to our table, she got up and moved to the other end. I sat down where I always did, but no one talked to me. They smiled a little and looked at each other, and I knew they were thinking,
We know. We know about your family. We know there is something wrong with you.
I glanced around the table. Every one of the girls there was closer to Sonia than to me.
There were only two people I really counted onâSonia and Sef. Sonia wouldnât talk to me, and Sef was leaving for Iraq.
CHAPTER 5
SWALLOW RIVER
WHEN I WOKE Sunday morning, it was dark, but I could see the outline of trees through the window, and I could hear the birds singing. As if today was like any other day.
At nine, they would take Sef to some stupid parking lot where all the families met for the last good-bye. Then buses would take the recruits to the airport. Mom had decided it would be better for her and Dad to go alone with Sef. We were to say our last good-bye at home. No matter what, I wasnât going to cry.
I heard Sef outside our bedroom door. âCass! Come on, Cassie.â
I slid out of bed and put on my sneakers. âReady,â I said, and followed him out the door into the cold morning air.
âYou okay?â he asked.
âYeah, but I didnât sleep much.â
âMe either.â
We didnât talk much after that. It was enough to concentrate on breathing in and out, putting one foot in front of the other.
We took our usual route down Hawthorne, past the Adamsesâ, the scrubby blackberry bushes, the Hendersonsâ broken-down Volkswagens, over the long stretch of cornfields, through the woods, and around Turtle Pond. We were going faster than usual, and by the time we were halfway around the pond, sweat was dripping down my face. This was how I always saw myselfârunning fast with Sef. What was I going to do tomorrow?
A dog barked across the water, and a duck skimmed over its glassy top, where the sun was slowly spreading its yellow light.
âArenât they supposed to be leaving?â Sef asked, sucking in his breath.
âYeah, seems like they stay longer and longer each year.â
âHey, go south, before your asses freeze to the pond!â Sef yelled out, waving his arms.
Back on the road, I caught up to Sef. A couple of early morning cars beeped as they drove by. After today, they wouldnât see us.
âIâm dying,â Sef said, slowing to a walk. âYouâre working me harder than they did at