bitch she’s ALWAYS been, how the hell did she land a guy like him? He’s absolutely, insanely, ridiculously, obscenely, disgustingly hot. The guy’s huge, like HUGE. He was wearing this t-shirt and he is so fucking ripped you can see every muscle on him. His hair is so dark it looks black, apart from this tiny bit of grey he has above his ears, but even that looks hot on him. His eyes are green. GREEN under dark brows. He’s way out of Mother’s league. He shouldn’t BE here, not with HER.
I’m supposed to hate him, but now I just hate her even more. I expected to feel a lot of things with a brand new daddy in my house, but I didn’t expect to feel like this. I’ve never felt so jealous in my fucking life.
I’m crushing like crazy over my new daddy, the guy that’s fucking my mother. Can life get any more fucked up than this?
My hard on disappeared, finally. At least there was some shred of morality in my filthy body. I was reeling, knocked for six. I flicked to a random page.
I’ve been horrible to Andrew-Dad for two whole months and he’s STILL here. I thought he’d have given up by now, fucked off back where he came from, but no. He hates me now, I know he does. Mother’s finally stopped parading him like a show pony. She hardly bothers with him at all, I haven’t seen them talk in days. She’s back on her phone again, planning trips again, like he never even arrived. I’m sure they’re not fucking, they act like they don’t even know each other.
I’m having nightmares again every night. I told Mother but she only snapped again, snarking that I should have grown out of them by now. I still haven’t told the bitch they’re always about her. She gave me some cash to sort out the shrink again, but I’m not going back there. I just wish I could sleep.
I spied Andrew typing his laptop password last night. Ladyluck69. There’s something about him I don’t get. He’s so serious all the time, but he never talks about his past, just comes and goes from work every day like he never had a life before this. I checked out his laptop but only for a minute while he was in the shower. He watches pornography A LOT, maybe even as much as me. If only he knew what I was really like. Maybe then he’d realise he married the wrong woman.
A few pages on.
I’m fucking a million randoms again. I can’t stop myself. I need to get HIM out of my system. It’s been ten times worse since I saw his porn stash. I look at it whenever I get chance, like some weird crazy stalker. He’s so dirty, maybe even dirtier than I am. He’s watched this one video about twenty times, and it’s so fucking dark. A young blonde gets tied up in some basement and fucked by about five different men. It’s one of the roughest vids I’ve ever seen. She takes two cocks in her ass and it actually makes her cry. They call her dirty names, and choke her and spit all over her, but you know what? She likes it. I know she likes it, I can see it in her eyes.
Just like he’d see it in mine.
I went to college for the first time in months. They are threatening to chuck me out now, but I don’t give a shit. I didn’t go in for lectures today, just for cock. I sucked two at once outside our student canteen - two of the nerdy guys from library club. I stuffed their cocks in my throat until I retched up my dinner, and the whole time I wished he could see me, see what a dirty girl I really am.
Andrew’s all I think about. I just wish he’d be the big, dark Daddy I want him to be. Maybe one day he will be, if I push him far enough.
Maybe one day he’ll lose his temper and put me in a basement. I’d love him to tie me up and fuck me until I cry. A girl can dream, can’t she?
I slammed the book closed, recoiling from its brutal honesty. My hands were shaking and clammy, and my insides were mushed up to shit. I wished I’d never read the thing, wished I’d never reacted in the kitchen and smacked the shit out of her. I