Confessions of a Call Center Gal: a novel Read Online Free Page B
Author: Lisa Lim
but I get it.
But there is no time to sulk or mull, nor bemoan the fact that we’re forced to sell. Before we know it, we’re in ‘nesting.’
‘Nesting’ is a period when we’re all thrown on the phones, but our trainer is tucked safely by our sides, ready for our beck and call. And we have other more knowledgeable agents known as ‘team-leads’ to hold our hands and guide us through this whole intimidating process.
This is what ‘nesting’ is like: I answer the phone, sometimes nervously, others, with fake confidence. The caller asks me a question. I have no idea what he is talking about and/or I don’t know the answer. I yell for help.
Here’s my scenario:
Me: Thanks for calling Lightning Speed (my voice quivers). My name is...(what the heck is my name again?) err... Maddy , how can I help you?
Caller: I need help with blah, blah, blah.
Me: Um, yes...I can assist you with that. But um...do you mind holding while I…err...do some research?
Caller: Of course I mind, but go ahead.
Then I frantically wave a checkered flag until Glenn or a team lead comes to my rescue. That’s nesting in a nutshell. We’re just dazed, lost and confused the whole time, crying HELLLLP!
Everything made sense in class, but on the phone, I suddenly feel like a fish out of water. I haven’t the faintest clue what I’m doing. My troubleshooting consists of taking tentative shots in the dark.
Thank God for Glenn and the team leads, they’re our saviors.
But I quickly discover that they’re not the biggest life savers.
As it turns out, the biggest life saver is not a person, but an inconspicuous, yet highly significant button on the phone—the ‘Not Ready’ button.
This discovery was huge and all -encompassing, parallel to stumbling upon the Holy Grail. I owe it my youth, I owe it my sanity, and without it, I’m certain I would’ve aged tenfold.
When I’m in ‘Not Ready,’ it means a call cannot come through, because hey—I’m not ready to take one!
How fab! It’s meant for completing technical tickets, and for emergencies ( I think ); but most of us just end up staying in ‘Not Ready’ to take a breather from taking call after call, after call, after call. The ‘Not Ready’ button is revered as a Godsend, and is hailed amongst us as mankind’s greatest invention, the pinnacle of human achievement, even better than sliced bread.
During my ‘nesting’ period, I keep a diary and here it is, unveiled in all its nightmarish gory.
Maddy’s Nesting Dairy:
Number of calls taken = 488
Number of pills popped = 2 bottles (Tylenol Extra Strength)
Number of times I felt like shoving my head in the oven = 1000
Day 1 of nesting – I hate, hate, hate being on the phones. Feel utterly hopeless and confused. Sometimes instead of pushing the Hold button, I accidentally jab the Release key right next to it. I blame my fat fingers. Also, I stay in ‘Not Ready’ a lot. It is my haven. B y the end of the day, I feel like going home and SHOVING MY HEAD IN THE OVEN!
Day 2 of nesting – Good news: I did not shove my head in the oven. Bad news: I’m still alive, back in this garish call center, being repeatedly abused over the phone.
Day 3 of nesting – Things are improving. Occasionally I feel lost, but I’m learning to use my ‘resources,’ aka the knowledge base. Transferring calls to other departments, or worse, conferencing calls with a third party is all a blurry mystery to me. Still using ‘Not Ready.’ If it’s there, why not use it, right?
Day 4 of nesting – Feel more comfortable on the phone and with the phone buttons now. The calls are going smoothly. My ultra-secret weapon: bullshitting. I make certain I sound 100% sure that I know what I’m doing, even when I haven’t the foggiest idea, because once the callers sense I’m unsure, they pounce on me like a pack of wolves and question every single thing I tell them. But now that I’m on BS mode,
But there is no time to sulk or mull, nor bemoan the fact that we’re forced to sell. Before we know it, we’re in ‘nesting.’
‘Nesting’ is a period when we’re all thrown on the phones, but our trainer is tucked safely by our sides, ready for our beck and call. And we have other more knowledgeable agents known as ‘team-leads’ to hold our hands and guide us through this whole intimidating process.
This is what ‘nesting’ is like: I answer the phone, sometimes nervously, others, with fake confidence. The caller asks me a question. I have no idea what he is talking about and/or I don’t know the answer. I yell for help.
Here’s my scenario:
Me: Thanks for calling Lightning Speed (my voice quivers). My name is...(what the heck is my name again?) err... Maddy , how can I help you?
Caller: I need help with blah, blah, blah.
Me: Um, yes...I can assist you with that. But um...do you mind holding while I…err...do some research?
Caller: Of course I mind, but go ahead.
Then I frantically wave a checkered flag until Glenn or a team lead comes to my rescue. That’s nesting in a nutshell. We’re just dazed, lost and confused the whole time, crying HELLLLP!
Everything made sense in class, but on the phone, I suddenly feel like a fish out of water. I haven’t the faintest clue what I’m doing. My troubleshooting consists of taking tentative shots in the dark.
Thank God for Glenn and the team leads, they’re our saviors.
But I quickly discover that they’re not the biggest life savers.
As it turns out, the biggest life saver is not a person, but an inconspicuous, yet highly significant button on the phone—the ‘Not Ready’ button.
This discovery was huge and all -encompassing, parallel to stumbling upon the Holy Grail. I owe it my youth, I owe it my sanity, and without it, I’m certain I would’ve aged tenfold.
When I’m in ‘Not Ready,’ it means a call cannot come through, because hey—I’m not ready to take one!
How fab! It’s meant for completing technical tickets, and for emergencies ( I think ); but most of us just end up staying in ‘Not Ready’ to take a breather from taking call after call, after call, after call. The ‘Not Ready’ button is revered as a Godsend, and is hailed amongst us as mankind’s greatest invention, the pinnacle of human achievement, even better than sliced bread.
During my ‘nesting’ period, I keep a diary and here it is, unveiled in all its nightmarish gory.
Maddy’s Nesting Dairy:
Number of calls taken = 488
Number of pills popped = 2 bottles (Tylenol Extra Strength)
Number of times I felt like shoving my head in the oven = 1000
Day 1 of nesting – I hate, hate, hate being on the phones. Feel utterly hopeless and confused. Sometimes instead of pushing the Hold button, I accidentally jab the Release key right next to it. I blame my fat fingers. Also, I stay in ‘Not Ready’ a lot. It is my haven. B y the end of the day, I feel like going home and SHOVING MY HEAD IN THE OVEN!
Day 2 of nesting – Good news: I did not shove my head in the oven. Bad news: I’m still alive, back in this garish call center, being repeatedly abused over the phone.
Day 3 of nesting – Things are improving. Occasionally I feel lost, but I’m learning to use my ‘resources,’ aka the knowledge base. Transferring calls to other departments, or worse, conferencing calls with a third party is all a blurry mystery to me. Still using ‘Not Ready.’ If it’s there, why not use it, right?
Day 4 of nesting – Feel more comfortable on the phone and with the phone buttons now. The calls are going smoothly. My ultra-secret weapon: bullshitting. I make certain I sound 100% sure that I know what I’m doing, even when I haven’t the foggiest idea, because once the callers sense I’m unsure, they pounce on me like a pack of wolves and question every single thing I tell them. But now that I’m on BS mode,
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