Concealed Affliction Read Online Free Page B

anymore. I have nothing else to say at this moment. The only thing that is going to calm my nerves and make me even the slightest bit approachable is a round with Brock. Since I just left and I’m still incredibly pissed, I settle on a bath.
     
    I shut the bathroom door and begin my ritual of calm, with an iPod plugged into the docking station, wine bottle opened—no glass—and some coconut oil in the water. I remove my sweaty gym clothes and sink down into the tub. I rest my head against the back, feeling the cool porcelain against my neck. I take a few deep breaths, followed by a few mouthfuls of wine.
     
    I stare at the once white now beige ceiling, removing myself from the confrontation I just had with Ryder, replaying the scene in my head.
     
    There are a few different ways that conversation could have went, and unfortunately I know that that one was not the best. My anger gets the best of me at the worst of times. I’m aware I have a temper and also aware that speaking is not always my strong suit.
     
    A few times during our rant, I know I could’ve calmed it down and not made it so much about something that he’d done wrong but more something that I’ve not dealt with. That’s going to be the toughest part about this thing I have going with Ryder, having not had to share my shit with anyone in a long time, especially with a man I’m attracted to, physically and as emotionally as my cold heart will allow.
     
    I could look back on my old life and compare this to the other relationships I’ve had in the past, but the kicker is that nothing ever measured up to this before. I have never, not once in my life felt about someone the way I feel about Ryder. And if I’m honest, that scares the ever living fuck out of me.
     
    How many times do women, not just myself but as a whole, go through life wanting someone they can lean on, and more importantly count on? I know down to my bones that Ryder would be someone that I can count on. He’s not the kind of man I should’ve just thrown that bit of my life to. I should have sat down with him on the couch and calmly told him that I have issues with trust, and therefore issues with people speaking on my behalf as if they know me better than I know myself.
     
    Coming to this conclusion I tell myself that after my bath and wine is done, I’ll apologize for dropping that on him like a bomb, and try to tell him about my issues in an adult manner, not like the miserable bitch I was just a few moments ago in the kitchen.
     
    Ryder deserves answers, I know this and plan to tell him so.
     
    I pull the plug and grab my robe off the back of the bathroom door.
     
    No time like the present.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Three
     
    I exit the bathroom in search of Ryder. He’s not in the kitchen or living room, so I make my way down the hall to the bedroom. He’s not there either.
     
    I begin to panic, walking quickly to the front door to confirm that his truck is still parked on the street. It is, so my racing heart calms a little, and even more so when I hear his deep voice behind me.
     
    “I was out back with Norm. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere beautiful, but if you want me to, I’ll leave. Not sure how much more of this up and down shit I can take, Elle.”
     
    Now would normally be the time that I would spin around and tell him if he can’t fucking take it, then get the fuck out. I know he doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but my anger issues and lack of patience are obviously getting to him. I clear my throat before I speak to him, as calmly as I can.
     
    “I speak my mind Ryder, that’s one thing you can always count on from me. That being said, if I wanted you to leave I would tell you to.”
     
    I turn around and face the man who is beginning to mean a lot to me. His hair is a mess. Obviously he didn’t bother to shower after his rounds in the ring at Fist. Not that it bothers me, his black t-shirt and shorts leave more skin for me to