Compulsion Read Online Free

anything that I didn’t want to do, but my own life was all the threat I needed. The sameness of it, the invisibility. The inevitability.
    “Give me a moment. I need to think.”
    I went back to the couch on autopilot and sat down.
    All my life I’d felt as if I had the potential to be so much more, to do so much more, but I had no clue how to go about it. And there were no role models in my family to help me. My parents, who were as loving and supportive as one could ever wish for, lived in blissful mediocrity, and I was turning out just the same.
    Take my virginity, for instance.
    Yeah, that’s topical right now!
    In the beginning, when I was a teenager, I’d hung on to it so tightly. I’d thought it was such an important thing, and that I was so much better and wiser than my friends who’d thrown theirs away so carelessly in the backseats of cars, or in dark bedrooms at high school parties. But I never met a guy who valued it—or deserved it. So no one asked me out at school because I was no fun, and the guys only wanted to date girls who’d sleep with them.
    By the time I got to college, and then started working, I seemed dried up and left behind somehow. Men paid no attention to me. No handsome prince ever fell in love with me and claimed the precious gift that I’d guarded for him with respect and gratitude. I was just Plain Jane, the PA—twenty-four years old, practical, efficient and of no interest to men.
    Until now, it seemed.
    It would be a chance to lose my virginity in a spectacular way. He was spectacular. It would be like my favorite romance books, the forced seduction of an innocent but fiery-spirited heroine by a dangerous lord of power and wealth, who eventually falls in love with her. Desired tingled in my pussy.
    Oh please, what’s wrong with you?
    The only person who knows that you’re fiery-spirited is you, and it won’t be a forced seduction if you agree to it upfront. And he’s not going to fall in love with you. He just wants a quick fuck to liven up what will otherwise be a boring evening!
    You get that? A quick, sordid fuck!
    So why was I so tempted?
    He was seated in his recliner again, his legs crossed so that the ankle of the right rested on the knee of the left. His arms lay on the rests. He looked still and calm, but I could feel his unique masculine regard focused on me. I was hyperaware of him on every level.
    It really seemed worth it. Based on the way he’d reacted to catching me spying, he didn’t seem too dangerous. Wildly inappropriate, definitely, but unlikely to hurt me. Besides, I didn’t value my virginity much anymore—and had no delusions that anybody else did either. But pitching up at the office party with him in tow, now that would be priceless.
    This was a turning point, I suddenly knew with certainty. My answer now was going to affect everything in my life from this point onward.
    “Yes,” I said. It came out as a cracked whisper. His eyebrows rose.
    “Yes,” I repeated, more strongly. “I agree to your price. I will have sex with you if you be my date for the party.”
    He sat forward in his chair and I could sense that sharpening of his focus on me again, like a thin beam of energy directed at me through the air between us. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. I wondered if he felt it too.
    “All right,” he said. “Let’s be very clear. I will take you to the party, and in return, you will have sex with me while we are there.”
    It was not a question. I swallowed and nodded.
    “Answer me! Say, ‘Yes, Matt.’”
    “Yes…Matt.”
    “Good girl. The sex will be on my terms—where, when and how I say. You will do exactly as I tell you.” His voice was hard.
    “Yes, Matt.”
    A thought suddenly occurred to me. “You won’t, er, do anything to jeopardize my job, will you, or embarrass me in front of the people from work?”
    He just stared at me until I was all but squirming in my seat.
    “No, I will not do anything like that. Now