Color of Loneliness Read Online Free Page B

stomach again. “You can’t be… Are you? What?”
    Julia grins maliciously, leaning close to Myra’s face. “Listen good.” One of her perfectly manicured red fingernails pokes at Myra's shoulder. “I know you're still in love with him. But you better back the fuck off because there’s no way in hell he’s ever taking you back.”
    Julie sends Myra one more wicked scowl before she exits the elevator.
    * * *
    Myra’s hands grip the railing until her knuckles turn white. She hangs on for dear life afraid that if she lets go, she’ll collapse. Crumble. Disappear. Her breath rasps in and out of her mouth; she can hear the thumping of her heart in her ears. The elevator continues to dutifully move up and down the floors letting people on and off.
    When she finally comes to her senses, she has no idea how long she’s been rooted to her spot. The elevator stops on the ground floor and she immediately lets go of the handrail, running as fast as she can through the front door and out of the office building.
    With stumbling feet, she continues running towards the subway. Quickly slumping into a seat, she leans her head against the window, and closes her eyes, willing her heart rate to slow down. The vibration and the coolness of the glass feels good against her skin, but the noise from the subway can’t drown out her thoughts.
    Trent plants long, sucking kisses along Myra’s bare hips. “I love you.”
    Myra smiles, twisting her hands in his hair. “I love you too.”
    Tears begin to trickle down Myra’s face.
    He hums contentedly, his lips moving to her stomach. “I’m going to take care of you. I'll buy you a house and bring you flowers every Sunday.” He moves his kisses to the valley between Myra’s breasts. “Hmm, you'll look so adorable with a big belly. With my baby.” He lifts a hand and tickles her stomach.
    “Trent,” Myra gasps between giggles.
    “Are you ticklish here? What about right here?”
    Myra continues to giggle until Trent stops, looks into her eyes and grins wickedly.
    “I think I need to practice up on this whole ‘putting a baby in you’ thing. So that when the time comes, I’ll be up for the challenge."
    Myra beams at him. “Please.”
    “Get naked,” Trent demands as his hands reach for her bra.
    * * *
    Myra somehow remembers to get off the subway. Tears stream down her face as she stumbles along the sidewalk to her apartment. Blindly reaching into her bag, she feels around for her keys, but can’t find them. Dropping to her knees, she dumps the contents onto the floor around her, desperately searching for them.
    Harsh sobs escape her mouth as her chest heaves and she gulps for air. Angrily, she scrubs at her eyes, trying to clear her vision so she can see, but she still can’t find her keys. Dropping her head into her hands and leaning against the door, she weeps as sobs wrack her small frame.
    With the sleeve of her coat, she wipes her eyes and nose quickly before resuming her search for the missing keys. Almost ready to give up, she hears a jingling sound from her coat pocket. Her shoulders sag and she blows out a breath when she shoves her fingers into her pocket and pulls them out.
    Sniffling and hiccupping, she crams everything quickly back into her bag and stumbles into her apartment. She sends one email informing her boss of her sudden illness and explaining that she’ll be out for the next couple of days.
    * * *
    Myra flips on the light in the bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet where she sees an array of medications including sleeping pills and pain killers. She stares at them, thinking, always thinking. Sighing, she closes it and steps into her bedroom, her exhausted body crawling into bed, not even bothering to remove her coat or shoes.
    * * *
    Time passes slowly as the afternoon fades away. Occasionally, she hears a ringing sound, but her muddled mind doesn’t register the noise. The sleep she so desperately wants finally finds her and pulls her under.
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