Clearwater Romance Read Online Free Page A

Shouldn’t they be blamed?”
    He didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes.
    “I know I don’t know you, but I know guilt eats a person alive. Your friend wouldn’t want you to live like this.”
    “You, the counselors, the military, everyone thinks I should just get over it. But I can’t. I don’t know how.” He sighed. “They want me to talk it out, be rational—embrace the fact that people die in a war.  Marines die—soldiers die—I get that. But this was different…James wasn’t just a Marine or just people…he was my friend.”
    “I’m not a counselor. I don’t know all the right things to say, but when my grandmother died. Everyone said—‘you know things happen for a reason’. It doesn’t matter if it happens for a reason, it just matters that it hurts. It’s okay to hurt and to miss him. It’s not okay to beat yourself up. You have to talk to someone, do something. I’ll help you in any way I can.” Maybe she pushed it, but she laid a hand on his leg. Comfort came in different forms.
    He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Why would you help me? Like you said, you don’t even know me.”

    “Because I can feel your pain. I can see it in your eyes. Your anger is getting the best of you. I’m sure you are a wonderful man. You need to let your pain and anger go so you can live. If not, your friend's death was for nothing.”

Chapter Five
     
    Why would she want to help him? He stared at the ceiling. The sun would be up soon, but sleep eluded him. I could have killed her.
    Questions ran around in his head. What did he have to do to make the dreams stop? The shrink did nothing, but make them worse. Did he have other options besides another counselor? Would he ever be able to sleep without the visions of that night being played out repeatedly? It wasn’t like he could do anything to change it, so why did his mind keep replaying it, forcing him to relive those horrible moments over and over again.
    Sick of feeling sorry for himself, he levered himself off the bed. She mentioned wanting to redo the other two rooms. Maybe he could give her some suggestions. He needed something to do, something to keep his mind on other than his pilgrimage to see James’ family.
    He dressed in his blue jeans and threw on a black long sleeve sweater. He needed a shave but that could wait until later. Running water might wake Chloe. She was up late with him, and he didn’t want to disturb her…again.
    Across the hall was one of the rooms she wanted remodeled. She mentioned it was one of the larger rooms in the bed and breakfast. There was a king size four-poster bed in the center of the room, a small office to the left, and a three-piece bathroom. This was one of two guest rooms with its own bathroom. The other three had to share the hall bath. He saw potential. It would depend on what Chloe wanted to do, but he could easily draw some designs.
    The second room was smaller. It would be better suited for a short stay or someone spending only a little time in the room. A queen bed sat by the windows, and a small sitting area arrayed around the door. He explored the other three remolded bedrooms and the hall bathroom and retreated to his room to draw up a few ideas for Chloe to look over. For the first time since leaving the Marines, he felt useful. Instead of destruction, he saw potential…
    That’s something…
    * * *
    Chloe tugged the turtleneck sweater up, making sure to cover the fingermark bruises on each side of her throat. She believed him when he said he hadn’t meant to hurt her, but she didn’t want to show him the evidence.
    He hadn’t shown up for breakfast. She didn’t dare go inside—not after last night—but she wanted him to eat, too.
    “Come in.” He called.
    She opened the door to find him sitting at the small desk. “I made breakfast and thought you might be hungry.”
    “Oh…I didn’t realize it was so late.” He looked up and blinked as