Chocolate Cake With Hitler Read Online Free Page A

to press. I’m so glad we didn’t bring those ones she had made out of the nursery curtains – they’re horribly stiff and make us look like lampshades.
    Once we were all ready we had a quick run-through of our songs: the one about the nightingale and “Little Stars”. They were OK. Auntie Eva clapped loudly – which sounded so hollow as it echoed around the concrete room – and said we were wonderful little darlings, and that Uncle Adi would love our performance. We are just what he needs to get him through this difficult time. Heide shouts more than she sings but it won’t matter because everyone always thinks she’s sweet.Normally we would give Uncle Adi flowers for his birthday but obviously we can’t get any flowers down here, so we just took cards we’d made him. Mine is of edelweiss. Hedda is going to recite the poem she learnt for Christmas.
    Uncle Adi’s sitting room was quite crowded with all of us in it. Papa and Mrs. Junge were already there, sitting on the only two chairs. They both jumped up to offer their chairs to Mummy and Auntie Eva. There was also a small flowery sofa, but they seemed to prefer to lean against the desk, rather than sit there. We children sat on the floor, tucking our legs under us to take up as little room as possible and we waited while Auntie Eva fetched Uncle Adi.
    My first thought when I saw him was that he had shrunk. He was stooped forward and looked crumpled, like he needed Liesl to give him a good iron. As he came in we all jumped up, but not quick enough for Mummy who gave me a little poke in the back, which really annoyed me because I’m old enough, for goodness ’ sake, to remember my manners without being reminded. I curtsied and shook his hand. Horrible, moist and limp; that hadn’t changed. Hilde came next, but when it came to Helmut’s turn, Uncle Leader grabbed him by one of his ears and gave it a shake which went on embarrassingly long until Helmut’s ear was bright red. I could see Helmut was holding his breath in order to stifle a yelp. Finally Uncle Leader letgo and dropped down on to the sofa with a fart. It could have been the sofa squeaking, but I think it was a fart. Auntie Eva sat down beside him.
    “What a delight to see such beautiful children!”
    “The children are very happy to be here, my Leader,” said Papa. “They are very excited to join you in your underground cave.”
    “Our cave! Oh yes, it is wonderful to be in a cave… a grotto!” said Auntie Eva. “It is a great adventure.” And her eyes blazed as if she had never wanted anything in her whole life more than to be here.
    “The children have cards for you, My Leader,” said Mummy. “They have made them themselves, even little Heide. Children, give Uncle Adi your cards.”
    Uncle Adi examined each card in turn. “My favourite presents are pictures painted by children. Girls and boys. Some people say that women cannot paint, but Angelica Kauffmann was a great painter, and painting makes a good hobby for a woman.” I’ve no idea who Angelica Kauffmann is. At this point he farted really loudly and it was definitely him, even though everyone pretended they hadn’t noticed. I could see Helmut was about to get the giggles so I gave him a sharp nudge.
    “The children also have a song for you, my Leader.” Mummy went on, “They have been practising especially for your birthday.”
    “Wonderful! Let’s hear it.” We all squashed into our places and Mummy stood in front of us to conduct.
    Night silence everywhere
    Only by the stream
    The nightingale
    Sings her sad song
    Softly through the valley
    It was a bit squeaky, certainly not as soft as the nightingale , but not too bad. Uncle Adi clapped one hand on his thigh, which seemed to be slightly shaking all the time. He was clinging on to the bottom of his jacket with his other hand.
    “Wonderful! Wonderful! Can you sing me another?”
    Our second song – “Can you count the stars?” – was much longer, ending with the