we giggled and licked the thick, gooey chocolate from our spoons.
Fast-forward fifty years. Barbara was diagnosed with incurable cancer. We were told there was no cure, but âpalliative therapyâ would make her more comfortable. Every day for weeks, particles of energy were bombarded through her brain. Fatigue and nausea became daily companions. Next, chemotherapy, with all its unpleasant side effects. However, with the help of new medications, soon we were pleasantly surprised to find that Barbara no longer experienced nausea. Her appetite even returned. That is when we began our quest. We were determined to find the perfect match of our childhood memory. The ice cream must be the hard kind, the harder the better, since the thick, hot fudge will cause it to melt right away. It had to have a cherry on top and it absolutely must be in a glass dish shaped like a tulip. That was the recipe.
We spent the entire time she was in treatment in search of the absolutely perfect concoction. We didnât tell anyone else what we were doing; once again it was our secret.
Treatment day was always Monday; by evening she could barely keep her eyes open. The week became a blur of growing fatigue, confusion and weakness, but by the weekend, Barbara would begin to rally and by Sunday she was ready.
âYou think we will find it this time?â sheâd ask. Weâd laugh then climb into the car.
We ate a lot of ice cream that year, but it always seemed something was slightly off-kilter. Soft ice cream wasnât the same as the hard-packed we remembered, chocolate syrup didnât give the same sensual delight as the thick goo of our childhood, the cherry on top was missing, or even worse, it was served in a paper container. The exact replica seemed impossible to find. Week after week we searched for the perfect combination. We were on a missionâin search of a childhood memory and a simpler time.
âWe didnât find it, did we?â Barbara sighed one morning. I knew exactly what she meant.
âNo, but weâre not giving up!â I replied. âAre you up for a road trip?â
The next day we took a longer trip than any we had previously attempted.
By the time we arrived at the ice cream parlor bedecked in 1950s décor, she was drained. She needed help just to get out of the car.
As the waitress held out menus, Barbara spoke softly. âWe wonât need those. We already know what we wantâhot fudge sundaes. Do you use hard ice cream?â
âOf course,â the waitress replied.
Barbara beamed at me. âI think that we might have found it.â
Soon the waitress returned carrying two tall tulip-shaped glasses filled with cold, hard, vanilla ice cream smothered in rich, thick hot fudge sauce, topped with a squirt of whipped cream and a cherry. âIs this what you wanted?â she asked as she plunked them down on the counter.
I turned toward my sister. Our eyes locked. The silent, secret question hung in the air between us. Was it? Slowly we picked up our spoons, plunged them into the sweet, cold confection and took them to our mouths. As I licked the thick, rich chocolate goo from my lips, I looked toward Barbara and saw she was doing the same. We began to first smile, and then giggle.
Mission accomplished. There we wereânot two overweight, middle-aged women enjoying an afternoon dessert with more calories than either needed. We were two giggling little girls, perched on high stools, skinny legs dangling, sharing the precious bond of sisterhood, carried back to a time when life was simple and âpalliative treatment,â were just words that had no meaning.
Nancy Harless
THE WAGON
L ast month on her sixty-third birthday, I reminded my sister of the following incident. She asked if I remembered it or if it were just part of our family lore. Iâm not sure, but I do remember a ride in our red wagon.
Adored by her parents, aunts and uncles, for the