Casting Down Imaginations Read Online Free

turned around and attacked me. I
called Mama and told her what happened. When she picked me up from school, she
took one look at my face she had me stay at my aunt’s house until the swelling
went down. She knew Daddy would have attacked Terrance and would have ended up
in jail for assaulting a minor. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I
was pregnant though, so I kept it to myself. I knew it would have broken her
heart to know that the daughter she was trying so hard to raise in the ways of
the Lord was having premarital sex.
    But the
situation with Terrance proved to be harder than I assumed it would be. The
break up left me very depressed and stressed out. I had no clue how I was going
to take care of a baby all on my own.
    Then one
morning I woke up feeling sick. It wasn’t a cold or the flu, but I knew something
was wrong with the baby. It took all the courage I had to confess to Mama that
I was pregnant and thought the baby needed help. After screaming and crying
over what I’d done, she took me to the doctor who informed me that I’d had a
miscarriage. I cried for days over my lost child, but God gave me peace about
it and let me know that my baby was with Him.
    But every
since that day, Mama never treated me the same. She said that she didn’t look
down on me, but I knew that she really did. I don’t think she has forgiven me.
We lived in the same house and hardly said anything to each other. I often went
out of my way to ask her how she was doing, and she always pretended that I
wasn’t even there. It was like we were two strangers just passing by, even
though we were family. She didn’t rejoice with me when I got accepted to Daytown University, either. She just asked me when I was leaving. Her telling me she wanted
my room completely empty when I left let me know she’d been looking forward to
me getting out of the house for a long time. There was no “I’m so proud of
you.” No “I’m praying for you.” No “Good luck.” All I got was “When are you
leaving?” and “Have that room bare when you walk out of that door.” Even still,
I was determined not to let her ways get to me.
    My
relationship with Anaya changed during that timeframe, too. Even though I told
her I was different, she never really understood. I think her confusion is what
ultimately drove her away from me. I tried my best to explain to her what was
going on with me, but she never wanted to see me as a new person. She tried so
hard to keep the old Karen that was dead and gone alive and well. When I
wouldn’t allow it, she couldn’t handle it. My refusal to be involved with wild
parties, drugs, alcohol, and sex caused her to detest me. She knew that I had
gotten pregnant, but when she didn’t see my stomach getting big she asked me
what happened. I told her that I’d miscarried and she called me a liar. She had
the audacity to tell me to my face that I killed my baby to save my reputation
at First Bethany. That was the craziest crap I’d ever heard. After that she
stopped calling me, and then wrote me a letter expressing that she thought I
was phony and that she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore.
    I was
very hurt by it all, but I gave her over to the Lord and let Him handle it.
Even if we never become friends again, I know that I will always be there for
her if she needed me, and I let her know that, too. She began to do things that
were contrary to the way I wanted to live my life, including fighting. She and
some girl named Jayla started having fights down the street from the school,
something I never imagined she would do. Then I heard the same girl was messing
with David behind her back. Some kind of friend she chose. I even heard that
she started stealing, too. Anaya? I concluded that there was just too much
drama associated with her for me, so I pray for her from a distance.
    I never
talked to Terrance again, either. Last I heard, he messed up his knee and was out
of he NBA. He was supposedly moving