Cannibal Dwarf Detective: An Ephemeral Beardening Read Online Free Page B

started. You’re working with the machine or you’re not working at all.”
               
“Then I quit.”
               
“If you quit you’re no longer protected with false identification by the-“
    Jeac belches and spits entire chunks
of cat out onto the floor.
    “As I was saying,” Armando continues.
“If you quit we can’t protect you. We’d not only confiscate your badge and gun,
but we’d also take your stilts and Sack o’ ‘Staches.”
    Jeac grumbles and slips in the now
cooled water and hits his head on the linoleum. Suddenly, he recalls figures in
the desert. Figures standing atop a strange device while chanting. He ignores
it and takes another bite of the tentacle.
    “Jeac wait. Where did you say you got
your dinner?”
    “In the… Oh no,” Jeac replies,
suddenly aware of the horrible act of almost cannibalism he’s committed. “…
Sanders.”
    “That explains why you never brought
the perp in for processing at the station. You were too busy bringing him in…
for uh… for lunch,” Armando says. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of a bad
octopus-man cannibalism pun. But never mind all of that. Did you see anything
else out there?”
    Again, Jeac thinks about the strange
people chanting just over the dune and of the device they had with them.
    “No. I can’t say I saw anything at
all.”
    Alfonzo and Armando stay a while
longer before leaving. Jeac stays up late watching his new partner blow smoke
all night from his window.  
    “Great, just what I need,” he thinks.
“Damn steel freak following me around.”

    Chapter 7
            Jeac wakes
up and puts on his stilts and adorns a new fu man chu. He finishes his
breakfast of sautéed tentacle jerky and heads out the door.
    “What a splendid day today!” he says.
He struts down the hall like a rooster with a mouthful of yogurt that is
drowning but doesn’t realize it because he’s both too stupid and too proud.
Then he sees it. The pile of junk waiting for him.
    “Hey, Mini-meat!” it says. “You kept
me out here all night. It’ll take a while for my engine to warm up now.”
    “So you must be Seth Low Rider?” Jeac
asks while rolling his eyes. Jeff rolls towards Jeac.
    “It is pronounced ‘Jeff’,” he says.
“I presume you are the one they call Freak Jernando?”
    “It’s pronounced fake.”
    “…Are you saying you have a fake
name?” asks the puzzled truck.
    “Ha! NO. It’s a joke. Forget about
it.”
    Jeac reaches out as Jeff extends his
glossy pearlescent car door arm and he shakes hands with his new mechanized
partner.
    “Pleased to meet you, cog-head.”
    They start down the stairs, Jeac
sprinting to keep ahead of the truck that careens sideways on two wheels down
the stair case.
    “Let’s get one thing straight,” says
Jeac. “We’re partners. Not equals. I’m in charge and you’ll do what I say when I
say it. Chief’s orders.”
    “I hate to burst your tiny bubble,
organ-bearer. The boss told me just the opposite. He believes you to be a
danger to this investigation. He also told me to-“
    Jeac swings his arms in a fanning
motion toward the trucks sparkling face.
    “Never mind all that nonsense! I have
a very important question to ask.”
    “Yeah? What do you want to know?”
    “Do I get to ride inside of you,
Jeff?”
    The truck stands up, insulted.
    “You ill-mannered…!” Jeff grinds his
gears together and through clenched bolt-teeth mutters, “Not even going to buy
me dinner first?”
    Jeac smirks and offers Jeff an oil
change if he agrees.
    “Of course you can ride, Feac,” Jeff
sighs. “It only depends on how far we’re going.”
    “All the way, baby. All. The. Way.”
     
    “We have to check something out that
I recently came across,” Jeac says as the two make their way out of the tower.
Once they arrive outside Jeff lowers his hydraulic chassis and Jeac steps
awkwardly into the back of the white leather, pistachio-scented low rider truck.
He