who
seemed to have only a vague idea of what had happened the night
before – had decided the group was ready to do runs from the chair
lift. I’ve always been scared of heights, so I was nervous about
tackling the chair lift. So Jacques buddied me up with an older
woman who was very supportive and tolerant of my nerves. After
that, the lesson passed peacefully – until we lined up at the
bottom of the slope for what was to be our final run.
I managed to get myself onto the ski lift without
injuring myself or anybody else, and as the lift carried us up in
the air, I turned to chat to my companion. But instead of seeing my
friendly middle-aged buddy next to me, I found I was sitting next
to the monster in pink.
Bailey.
I had no idea whether she had ended up next to me by
accident or design, but I decided discretion was the better part of
valor. I kept my mouth shut.
It was a beautiful day for skiing, and with any
other person on the planet for company, I would have enjoyed the
view. What could be better than watching people having fun in the
snow on Christmas day? The sun was peeking weakly through the
clouds, and the fir trees provided some welcome green relief from
the expanse of white. It was awesome…except for having the Queen
Bitch sitting next to me. We got nearly to the top before she
spoke.
‘You bought that dress on purpose to piss me off,
didn’t you?’
I gave her a dirty look. ‘Don’t flatter yourself,
Bailey. I wasn’t giving you a second thought. How the hell was I
supposed to know you would buy the same dress?’
‘Well anyway, it was a poor choice. You don’t have
the boobs for it. That dress suits a woman with a full bust, like
me.’
At that moment, I could have cheerfully thrown her
off the chair lift into the abyss below. And if a jury heard what
she had said to me, they would have let me off with justifiable
homicide. How dare she criticize my tits! I admit that hers are a
little larger, but mine have done a very good job of attracting men
over the years, and I won’t have my closest friends shot down in
flames like that. I was ready to fire a return volley.
‘I don’t know why you bothered wearing a dress at
all,’ I replied haughtily. ‘You should have just come down to the
bar in your bra and panties. If you’re going to act like a whore
anyway, you might as well be open about it. Then we would all know
where we stand.’
That one struck home, I could see that. But there
was no time for her to reply, as we had reached the top of the
lift. Our chair slowed down and did a 180-degree turn. As we came
out of the turn, I pushed myself off the chair and started to ski
away. Bailey was right beside me, and before I could get away from
her she shoved me hard in the back. It didn’t hurt, but it threw me
off balance. I thought I was going to fall, but I remembered what
Jacques had said about balancing, and I threw my weight forward.
Somehow I managed to stay upright, but I was out of control.
Instead of going down the slow side of the slope, I was now
accelerating down the faster side.
Bitch, bitch…stupid fucking bitch…
I would have come up with some more creative abuse,
but I was too busy concentrating staying on my skis. In theory, I
knew how to slow myself down. In practice, I was too scared to be
able to think straight. I saw a fir tree ahead of me and getting
closer by the second. If I didn’t turn very soon, I would slam
straight into it. I focused hard and managed to make the turn – but
I turned too sharply and was soon going at right angles across the
slope. I saw a pink blur ahead of me, and realized it was Bailey.
She would have to get out of the way – there was no way I could
stop myself. But she seemed just as transfixed as me. I hurtled
towards her at high speed and there was a loud thud as we collided.
Both my skis came off and I somersaulted over her head and landed
deep in the snow.
Ouch!
I was dazed for a moment, but soon came round. My
ankle was hurt,