Calling All Birdbrains Read Online Free Page A

Jennifer?”
    She took my hand and licked it for a while. I told you—she’s crazy nuts about me.
    â€œJennifer, please—I just had a shower,” I said.
    â€œRemember about the I. B. Rotten Games?” she asked. “You and I are going to be a great team—aren’t we, Bernie Face?”
    â€œUh…I can’t breathe,” I gasped. “I think you crushed my ribs to sawdust.”
    She giggled. “You know I want to win every game and take home the I. B. Rotten Trophy.”
    â€œT-trophy?” I stammered, feeling my lungs collapse beneath her.
    â€œI collect trophies,” The Ecch said. “I have two thousand of them in my dorm room. Just the ones I could bring from home.”
    â€œN-nice,” I choked out.
    She leaned over me and narrowed her brown eye and her blue eye to slits. “You’d better not mess up, Goo-Goo Eyes,” she said. “You’d better help me win every game. I’d hate to do some more arm cracking! I’d hate to bend you into a pretzel.”
    Yikes! More arm cracking? Pretzel b ending?
    I need my arms to play Uno!
    â€œHey, I’m a winner,” I said. “No way we can lose!”
    She climbed off, lifted me up with one hand, anddusted me off with the other. Then she gave my hand one last, long, sticky lick with her big cow tongue and thundered off to class.
    No way we can win , I thought sadly. Not with Bad-Luck Lippy around.
    The Ecch will be cracking my arms into talcum powder.
    Unless…
    Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.
    I ran back to the dorm and picked up Lippy in his cage. I carried the cage to the middle of R.U. Dumm Field, our soccer field.
    I pulled open the cage door and lifted my sweet parrot out. Then I held him in both hands in front of me.
    I had tears in my eyes. My whole body was trembling. But I had no choice.
    I raised Lippy high—and tossed him into the sky.
    â€œYou’re free, Lippy!” I cried. “Free! Fly away! Fly away, free!”

Chapter 13
"W HAT H AVE I D ONE ?”
    Tears blurred my eyes. But I watched Lippy flap his wings and fly. He sailed up to the clouds, turned, and flew away.
    I brushed away my tears. “He’ll have a happier life,” I told myself. “And so will I.”
    I trudged to class, thinking about my sweet bird and all his clever, adorable sayings. I didn’t hear a word Mrs. Heinie said all morning.
    At lunch in the Dining Hall, my stomach was doing somersaults. I couldn’t eat a thing.
    My friend Beast dipped his head into my plateand gobbled down my entire lunch. Beast does that to everyone. That’s why he usually sits alone.
    I didn’t care about food. I was too upset over my tragic loss.
    When I got outside, I realized Beast had also eaten my shirt !
    Mrs. Heinie wouldn’t let me back into class with a bare chest. So I made my way back to Rotten House.
    All across the Great Lawn, kids were laughing, singing, dancing, pushing each other into Pooper’s Pond. I wished I could be happy, too.
    But I just kept muttering to myself, “What have I done? What have I done ?”
    I pulled myself up the stairs to the third floor and stepped into my room.
    And there sat Lippy on his perch by the open window.

Chapter 14
W HO D ESERVES A L ITTLE B AD L UCK ?
    â€œLippy! You’re home!” I cried happily.
    I ran across the room with outstretched arms. “Here’s a big hug! Here’s a big hug for my pretty bird!”
    Halfway to the window, I tripped over some books on the floor, fell hard—and cut both knees.
    Bad Luck Lippy strikes again.
    Forget the hug. The bird had to go!
    I bandaged my knees. Then I picked up the squawking bad-luck bird and carried him outside.
    The Bernie B. brain was plugging and chugging.I knew Lippy wouldn’t fly away. But maybe…maybe I could give him away!
    I walked past the girls’ dorm. No one around. I turned and crossed R.U. Dumm Field. Some third