Caine's Law Read Online Free

Don’t ever miss a chance to kiss her good-bye. You never know which time is the last time.”
    “You’re not a very good liar.”
    “Huh?”
    “Your mom died when you were
my
age? How come she’s in the clinic here, then?”
    He looked uncomfortable. “It’s complicated.”
    “My dad says if you’re gonna tell lies, you better remember which lies you tell,” I said.
    “And he’s right. But you better remember the truth too.” He shook his head again, a little shake, irritated with himself, like Dad would do when he found himself talking off in the wrong direction from whatever he was wanting to say.
    “Here’s the gristle. You’re gonna see me again someday. A long time from now. So long that you won’t remember meeting me, or having this talk or anything, right up until you see me. It’ll come back to you. When it does, there’s something I want you to remember, all right? One thing.”
    I looked back down at the floor. Somehow I felt like I was in one of those fairy tales Dad liked to read to me off the net—the kind where if you agree to something, it’s a trap and everything goes wrong forever. But still I couldn’t help asking. I had to know. “What’s that?”
    “That I’m sorry, kid.” His voice was slow. Heavy. “That I said I was sorry.”
    “For what?”
    He looked down too, like he wanted to see whatever it was on the floor I’d been looking at. “Everything.”
    “I don’t get it.”
    “You will.” He shook his head and his lips flattened into a straight line. “I’d make things different if I could.”
    I frowned. “Make
what
things different?”
    “Nothing. Everything. Fuck it anyway.” He gave a heavy sigh and pushed himself to his feet. “Forget I said anything.”
    My ears started to get hot. “I don’t think that’s
right
.”
    “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”
    He went toward the inner door, and I jumped up, fists trembling against my thighs.
    “What’s that even
mean
? You’re
sorry
but you’re not gonna
do
anything.” I felt myself blush, like always when I get mad. The blush climbs my neck like I’m a bottle filling up with angry.
“Everybody’s fucking sorry!”
    He stopped like I had him on a leash, but he didn’t look back. I knew I was in trouble, because
fuck
is a bad word even when you say it to other kids, but it’s worse when you say it to a grown-up. Since I was already in trouble, I wasn’t worried about
getting
in trouble, so I stood there and screamed at him.
    “People were
sorry
Dad got
soaped
and people were
sorry
we got thrown out of our
house
and Mom is
sorry
I get in
fights
and Dad is
sorry
he beats Mom until all she can do is lie on the floor and
bleed
and
nobody
ever does the
first fucking thing
to make anything
different
!”
    Now everybody in the waiting room was looking, and I was shaking and tears were streaming down my face, because I get too angry to do anything but cry, and then I’m crying because there’s nothing else I can do.
    “If you were
really
sorry you wouldn’t even have to
say
it and the only reason you
say
it is so you don’t
feel
bad about not
doing
anything! Saying you’re
sorry
doesn’t do anything except make you feel like you’re not such a fucking useless fucking rotten fucking fuck!”
    I felt Dad move next to me like a sculpture coming to life, and his hand found my shoulder. “Hari?” His voice had that kinda blurry sound, like I woke him up in the middle of the night and he’s not sure what’s going on. “What’s wrong, Killer?”
    But by then I had the full waterworks going, and I couldn’t even tell him because I couldn’t get my breath. So I just stood there and shook and cried and wished I was big enough to beat that old guy the way Dad would beat Mom. Till all he could do was lie on the floor and bleed.
    Then Dad looked up and saw the old guy, and his face went white as foam. “
You
 …”
    The old guy nodded to him. “Duncan. Guess I don’t have to ask how you’ve been.”
    Dad