Burning for You (Blackwater) Read Online Free

room is fine,” I say,
shuddering at the thought of spending a whole night in Heidi’s baby blue
bedroom of dirty little secrets.  She probably still has a binge stash and
laxatives in there somewhere.  “I’m pretty tired, and I think I’ll turn in now
and catch up on sleep.”  She nods, relieved I’m dismissing her for now and I
scoop up Carlton and make for my old bedroom.  Carlton hisses because he hasn’t
finished licking the microscopic pieces of cat food off of the plate.  I
realize that my mother will actually have to wash a dish and feel smug about
leaving it behind. 
    My bedroom has been kept as a
shrine to me, I note, and I’m reminded of how young and angsty I was when I
left Blackwater.  I take in the Misfits and Descendants posters, the purple
curtains I covered my windows with and the matching purple shaggy rug that has
definitely seen better days.  Even the hardwood underneath the rug has been
left alone, unlike the rest of the house.  My bed is the same, the duvet cover
silky and familiar against my hand as I stroke the material nostalgically.  I
can practically smell the cheese popcorn I used to eat in this bed, a favorite
habit of mine I’ve still maintained.  It annoyed Michael to no end when he’d
find kernels in the sheets.
    I roll over my suitcase and toss
Carlton down on the hardwood floor.  He lands with a “thud” and looks at me,
annoyed, and lumbers up to the bed to do his favorite thing – take up space.  I
can’t help but laugh at how he attempts to gracefully jump onto furniture but
usually gets stuck midway and has to claw the rest of the way up.  He leaves a
few nice holes in the duvet and I laugh even more.  “Make yourself at home,” I
tell him as I unzip my suitcase and eye the few contents I bothered to bring
with me.  I strip down and throw on an oversized t-shirt advertising a bar I’d
been to once in Chicago, and a pair of Michael’s old boxer briefs that I
adopted as my own for sleeping purposes.      
    Not even three hours back home and
I’m already having difficulty breathing.  It’s not asthma related, either.  It
started with the accident, and that man…Ash.  I lay back and close my eyes and
try to picture him.  I see his dark eyes, his full lips, and I smell him.  It’s
a sulfur kind of smell, actually, weird and unpleasant.  My eyes pop open, my
vision disturbed by Carlton’s ass trying to plop down on my hair.  “Get off,” I
say, shoving him over a bit.  He howls but complies.  Monday I intend to get a
job and a place to live and get the fuck out of here.  My mother isn’t even
trying to get along with me, and we can only take so much of each other before
an explosion occurs.  It won’t be pretty.  I plan to try my best to make sure
it doesn’t come to that, and that means finding my own place and a job to pay
for it.  Perhaps I can stay with Heidi, except now she’s married with a husband
and I’m sure they don’t want me around either.  Besides, it’s not as though I
ever got along with Heidi any better than my mother.  They’re like peas in a
pod, so alike in looks and attitude.  It’s horrible to feel unwelcome pretty
much everywhere you can go in your own hometown.
    As for a job, I have no idea what
to expect in that department.  I spent four years as a claims adjuster for a
small local health insurance company in Chicago but doubt I could find
something like that here.  Chicago is a big city full of jobs and opportunity. 
Blackwater is a black hole of becoming a Stepford wife or wishing you were
someplace else. 
    I hope my mother still gets a newspaper. 
First thing tomorrow I’ll be checking the classifieds, if Blackwater even has
those.  Oh, and calling my insurance company about Betsey.  Poor Betsey.  I’m
so tired I can’t even cry about it, so instead I just decide to pass out and care
tomorrow.

Chapter 3
     
    I wake up to the sound of
vacuuming, which is odd since my mother’s