Burger Wuss Read Online Free Page B

terrible things, and Diana started crying, and she threw down her visor, and she quit.
    I called Diana later. She had her own line. She was screening. I left messages. She never returned them.
    Now it’s been a week since the party. A week since I found Turner lying on top of her, almost undressed. I am going to get revenge. I hate him and his green sateen. Iwill go to any length. Whatever it takes to make him hurt. I want to see him cry.
    I am starting to smolder now. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more Mr. Wholesome. I will crawl through sewers, knife in teeth. Climb up walls with suction boots. Nurse my hatred like a baby with pincer hands and twelve legs. I will get revenge. I will make a plan. I will do what I need to.
    I will have it my way.

N ow is the time to be scheming and like evil,
I thought to myself.
Now for revenge.
I smiled cruelly to myself. I practiced several times. You have to narrow your eyes and only curl one half of the mouth. The video said, “Double-fold the bag. Extend it toward the customer. Say, ‘Thank you. Have a nice day!’ This closes the transaction. Remember, a friendly face is the key to a friendly customer and customer satisfaction.”
    I practiced my venomous glare.
    The video screen went blank. The introduction was over. I sat in the dark staff room. I tried a vicious laugh.
    “Eh he he he he he he!” I tried it more from the belly. “Oh eh heh heh heh heh heh!”
    “Anthony, hello?” Mike looked in.
    I stopped laughing.
    “You done with the footage?”
    “Yes,” I said. “I think I’ve got it.”
    He turned on the lights. He said he would give me a tour of the restaurant.
    We walked out of the staff room. He introduced me to one of the cooks.
    “Here’s one of our cooks.”
    There was a kid I thought I had seen around at school. He had shaved all his hair down to a faint golden fuzz. He said, “I’m Shunt. Welcome to corporate hell. Start screaming now.”
    Mike said, “Shunt is a real individual. He’s an unusual member of our O’Dermott’s family.”
    Shunt said, “He grill or register?”
    Mike said, “Register. You need someone for grill?”
    Shunt said, “No. Just asking is all.” He kept on walking.
    Mike showed me the deep-freeze locker. He showed me how to get out from the inside. He showed me where the janitorial supplies were kept. We went to the inside of Drive-Thru Window Number One. No one was there. It was a slow time. He showed me the office. There was a corkboard covered with Instamatic photos. They were all of the O’Dermott’s softball team winning against the Burger Queen team. It looked like it had been quite a day.
    Mike said, “If you have any questions, I’ll ask Turner to take care of you. He’ll be overseeing you. You know Turner?”
    I stuttered with surprise. Then I thought,
Don’t panic. Don’t panic! This will be perfect. I’ll be close to him. This will be absolutely perfect for me to hatch a plan.
    I said mysteriously, “Turner and I go way back.”
    “Good!” Mike said.
    Mike and I passed the grills and vats. Shunt was there.
    Mike said, “This is where all the burgers are cooked and dressed.”
    Shunt said to me as he worked, “There are thirteen layers in a Big O: top bun, onions, meat, pickles, lettuce, Super Sauce, middle bun, onions, meat, cheese, lettuce, Super Sauce, bottom bun. In this stack, we’re the meat. These patties are made of our expended brains, nerves, and muscle.”
    Mike said, “You see the humorous way Shunt looks at the world?”
    We went to the registers. Mike said, “You’ll be working a register. At the beginning of your shift, you get a drawer. We know how much money is in your drawer. Be careful when you give people change. We count up how much you have at the end of your shift. Any shortage or overage and we write it down. You get a shortage or overage above ten dollars each shift for a week and you’re fired. Okay? Let’s go talk to Turner.”
    Mike led me over to Turner. He said,