Brenda Monk Is Funny Read Online Free Page A

for god’s sake. It now seemed perfectly clear why he had kept her away from his previews and tried to prevent her from coming to Edinburgh. The overall impression was of a man delightfully and desperately in love with a needy, neurotic, nymphomaniac lunatic, whilst still conveying a sense of being very much on the market for any extra-curricular female attention that may come his way. He had pulled this difficult balancing act off perfectly and Brenda’s feelings were complicated by the fact that she was profoundly impressed at the sheer level of skill he had displayed. If she had not been the subject of the show, she would have given it five stars. Hell, she’d probably give it five stars anyway. It was a bona fide five star show and they didn’t come along too often.
    ‘Ah, here he is,’ Lloyd announced, looking up from his Blackberry.
    And for the second time that day, Brenda was able to observe her boyfriend unobserved. He had the swagger of a man who had tasted triumph. People thrust themselves forward, offering to buy him drinks or just wanting to shake his hand or take a picture. He accepted all with good grace. He was in no hurry to get to the bar, he was already a little drunk from the drinks he had consumed backstage before, during and after the show, and high from the large joint he usually smoked out of the window of his small, shared dressing room whilst making small talk with the comedian who would inherit his venue for the hour that followed. Brenda knew Jonathan’s habits well.
    Brenda felt a surge of pride. She should squash down these bourgeois feelings of having had her honour compromised in some way. There could be no betrayal in art, she thought. She was the muse; her place was surely unassailable, even as she watched a plain young woman with enormous breasts make unexpectedly appealing eyes at her man. Jonathan smiled down at the woman, clearly planning to engage her in conversation, but Lloyd whistled to get his attention.
    Jonathan looked up, saw Brenda, was momentarily stunned and then grinned from ear to ear. The plain woman with the enormous breasts was brushed aside and he took large, confident strides to the other side of the packed bar area.
    ‘Here you are,’ he whispered in Brenda’s ear as he wrapped her in a hug. ‘You came – I hoped you would but I didn’t want to pressure you.’
    He pushed her away from him gently and stared deep into her eyes.
    ‘Did you like the show? Are you upset?’
    Brenda, legs jellied and head fuzzed by primal desire, shook her head.
    ‘It’s brilliant. It’s a brilliant show. You’ll definitely win this year.’ Jonathan permitted himself a small smile and then shrugged.
    ‘Awards don’t mean anything. It’s about the comedy, the comedy is what’s important. So you really liked it. God, you are a sight for sore eyes. I love this.’ He fingered her hair. ‘It’s very subversive.’
    Brenda was warm from head to toe and she was approaching giddiness when ‘Julia’ the dumpy American joined them.
    ‘Jonathan, that was just… ahhh. That was just great. Really great.’
    ‘Thanks Joan, really appreciate it. This is “the girlfriend” Brenda.’
    Joan gave Brenda a cursory look and pushed out a ‘Hi’ before turning back to Jonathan.
    ‘I cannot wait to get back to LA so I can start selling you. In the meantime, let me buy you dinner and tell you how fucking great you are.’
    Jonathan smiled his version of bashful.
    ‘Sounds like my kind of evening. Is that OK, Bren? I’ll catch up with you later.’
    Joan took Jonathan by the arm and led him off, speaking in confidential tones. Lloyd and Brenda looked at each other, only the merest hint in Lloyd’s eyes that he was thinking about Brenda in his newly acquired knowledge of her favourite sexual position. ‘Drink?’ asked Lloyd.
    Brenda was sure he was taking in her breasts, which he now knew, thanks to Jonathan, that Brenda was worried were slightly lopsided when cut loose from