Breaking East Read Online Free

more than I wanted to give, but the next day he went back to his easty girlfriend like I hadn’t happened. Then he came sniffing around again.
    Fran chewed her lip. ‘But it’s definitely all over with him and that easty girl for good this time, right?’
    ‘So he says.’ I flapped my hand in a dismissive gesture and lowered my voice to mock Gavin’s husky tones. ‘Ah, Atty hunny. She meant nothing. It’s only ever been you I want.’ I snorted and finished the Blue out of my glass.
    ‘Well?’ she said. ‘It‘s probably true. How many cross-river relationships do you know that last longer than five minutes?’
    ‘I don’t care.’ I sounded proper sulky. ‘It’s rubbish, Fran. Jeesh. No way am I letting him near me again. He’d say anything to try and get me into bed. No more guys for me – especially, no more Gavin.’
    She shrugged. ‘Shame. You’d look so good together. You deserve to be happy.’
    ‘Please let’s not get all Aunt Agony about it. I know, let’s not talk about it at all, eh?’
    So we didn’t, we chatted about all other sorts of nonsense but not Gavin. I told her about the class and my putting the self-defence instructor on his backside. She laughed until she cried.
    Later, when we’d drank and ate a little too much junk, and we lay stretched out, belching, she looked at me real hard. ‘Thanks for being such a good mate. I love you, you know?’
    ‘Shush now, Fran. You’re getting carried away with the moment. A full belly always did turn you all soft and emotional.’ I grinned. ‘And the tunnel trance of course.’
    There’s this atmosphere in the tunnel at night. The blackness is dense, total, and it feels like nothing else exists. Many a secret has been exchanged in the sort of surrealistic vacuum. It brings out the weirdness and rawness of people more effectively than any drug of choice, even the local ubiquitous lemondrop.
    She shook her head. ‘It’s not just that. I’ve always wished I could be more like you, do you know that?’
    There is a skill to taking compliments and I don’t have it. They make me fidget and blush. ‘Well I’ve always wished I could be more like you. You with your long blonde hair, cute little bum.’ I looked down and slapped at my thunder thighs. ‘You wouldn’t want to be me.’
    She shook her head and turned to look out of a window at the dense blue-black beyond her reflection. Her eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh I would. I so would.’
    ‘What’s up, Fran? Tell me.’
    A single fat tear ran down her face, she wiped it off her jaw and sniffed. ‘Life’s just pretty grim sometimes, that’s all.’
    I curled up next to her, my head on her shoulder. ‘Nothing is ever so bad.’ I reached to steal her last crisp thinking she’d shove me away and we’d laugh.
    She watched me eat it and said, ‘I’m not so sure.’

Chapter 4
    Dreams of Gav kept me awake and angry. Fran had lifted the lid at the memory of that night. The guy had left a stain deep inside, and it throbbed, niggling away at my resolve. He was fit all right. And sometimes even I needed a bit of company.
    The dead-of-night-silence made my thoughts difficult to switch off and the rats had stopped scurrying under the carriage long before I finally went to sleep.
    A text from Joe woke me: I have a job for you. My head felt thick with too many unsaid words and my mood refused to lift. If Joe wanted to put me on another poxy listening-to-wives-prattle job I’d have to tell him to stick it. I loved Joe but he needed to accept I was a big girl now and give me some big girl jobs.
    When I arrived at the caff, I felt well fired up for putting him straight. ‘What’s up?’
    ‘You wanted a job? I’ve got just the thing. It’s perfect for you.’
    ‘By perfect I suppose you mean it’s safe and cushy.’
    He pursed his lips and tilted his head. ‘Mm. Might be safe, might even be cushy, but it comes with enormous responsibility.’ There were a few kids sitting drinking tea at