Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) Read Online Free
Author: Ali Harper
terms with the fact that he was indeed her boyfriend. So that was progress at any rate.
“I won’t.” she replied whilst silently summoning up the courage to tell her about her plans for Saturday.
“Make sure you empty out all of those cardboard boxes and put them in the recycling trash can. I want all of your father’s things boxed up and put away neatly in the garage. Put his clothes in to charity bags.”
“Okay.” She replied. The mention of putting her father’s things away suddenly put a dampener on her courage to yell at her mom about her date. It wasn’t exactly the best time as both mother and daughter avoided eye contact and blinked rapidly in order to hold their tears back at bay. Her mother opened the front door and turned to leave. “Mom?” Sienna called hesitantly.
“Yes?” she replied curiously as she faced her.
“Have a nice night out, you deserve it,” said Sienna sincerely. Maria’s hazel eyes softened at the sincerity of her daughter’s voice. They rarely had such moments like this. She wondered when the last time was when she had even touched her daughter other than to teach her a lesson. She wanted to hug her daughter, to kiss her cheeks and to tell her she loved her just as she did when Sienna was a baby. But instead she turned her head away abruptly and simply walked towards her car ignoring her burning emotions and repressing her guilt. Sienna shut the door and made her way to the garage. It was a small garage barely big enough to fit just the one car in. the wall was still marred with red. No matter how hard Sienna had tried to wash it off it just wouldn’t go, much like anguish he’d left behind in her heart. At the end of the room lay boxes of her father’s old football t-shirts and bowling trophies and all the other possessions that belonged to him. She quietly sobbed as she placed them in to the trashcan. Her mother didn’t want anything in the house to remind them of their father. Its as if he never existed.
“This is what human life is reduced to? A trashcan full of old vinyl the Beatles records and an old Philadelphia Eagles jersey?” she spat out looking up at the ceiling waiting stupidly for a response. Instead she was met with devastating silence.
“Are you even here?” she asked throwing her hands up in the air. No response.
“Do you even care?” she whispered sniffing and put her hands on her hips as she looked around the room for even the slightest hint of a sign. A door creaking or the light bulb flickering or a gust of wind or a blinding white light or a burning bush or a loud authorative voice that put Morgan Freeman to shame. Nothing. There was nothing but deafening silence. In fact come to think of it the house had never sounded so eerily quiet.
“No reply, as usual. Well of course not. How rude of me to ask.” She sighed as she wiped another salty droplet that ran down her face. Her heart plummeted to her gut as she felt waves of disappointment and foolishness washing over as it usually did whenever she reached out to Him. She didn’t know why she was surprised, yet the silence never stopped her from reaching out again the next night. No matter how alone she felt, no matter how broken she felt in the ‘sanctity’ and ‘safety’ of her home, no matter how low she felt at times, Sienna never gave up hope. Because if she gave up her hope and faith in the fact that there was someone who loved her and cared for her and watched over her as she slept, then indeed she would be broken. Sienna clung on to her blind faith in God because it was the only thing that kept her going.
Her greatest fear was that someday her faith would not be enough. One day she’d give in to the voices in her head and cave in. One day she would finally summon up the courage to finish it all instead of just standing there like a fool with a razor clasped in a shaking clammy hand, eyes clenched shut, murmuring encouragements to do it, then eventually sighing
“I won’t.” she replied whilst silently summoning up the courage to tell her about her plans for Saturday.
“Make sure you empty out all of those cardboard boxes and put them in the recycling trash can. I want all of your father’s things boxed up and put away neatly in the garage. Put his clothes in to charity bags.”
“Okay.” She replied. The mention of putting her father’s things away suddenly put a dampener on her courage to yell at her mom about her date. It wasn’t exactly the best time as both mother and daughter avoided eye contact and blinked rapidly in order to hold their tears back at bay. Her mother opened the front door and turned to leave. “Mom?” Sienna called hesitantly.
“Yes?” she replied curiously as she faced her.
“Have a nice night out, you deserve it,” said Sienna sincerely. Maria’s hazel eyes softened at the sincerity of her daughter’s voice. They rarely had such moments like this. She wondered when the last time was when she had even touched her daughter other than to teach her a lesson. She wanted to hug her daughter, to kiss her cheeks and to tell her she loved her just as she did when Sienna was a baby. But instead she turned her head away abruptly and simply walked towards her car ignoring her burning emotions and repressing her guilt. Sienna shut the door and made her way to the garage. It was a small garage barely big enough to fit just the one car in. the wall was still marred with red. No matter how hard Sienna had tried to wash it off it just wouldn’t go, much like anguish he’d left behind in her heart. At the end of the room lay boxes of her father’s old football t-shirts and bowling trophies and all the other possessions that belonged to him. She quietly sobbed as she placed them in to the trashcan. Her mother didn’t want anything in the house to remind them of their father. Its as if he never existed.
“This is what human life is reduced to? A trashcan full of old vinyl the Beatles records and an old Philadelphia Eagles jersey?” she spat out looking up at the ceiling waiting stupidly for a response. Instead she was met with devastating silence.
“Are you even here?” she asked throwing her hands up in the air. No response.
“Do you even care?” she whispered sniffing and put her hands on her hips as she looked around the room for even the slightest hint of a sign. A door creaking or the light bulb flickering or a gust of wind or a blinding white light or a burning bush or a loud authorative voice that put Morgan Freeman to shame. Nothing. There was nothing but deafening silence. In fact come to think of it the house had never sounded so eerily quiet.
“No reply, as usual. Well of course not. How rude of me to ask.” She sighed as she wiped another salty droplet that ran down her face. Her heart plummeted to her gut as she felt waves of disappointment and foolishness washing over as it usually did whenever she reached out to Him. She didn’t know why she was surprised, yet the silence never stopped her from reaching out again the next night. No matter how alone she felt, no matter how broken she felt in the ‘sanctity’ and ‘safety’ of her home, no matter how low she felt at times, Sienna never gave up hope. Because if she gave up her hope and faith in the fact that there was someone who loved her and cared for her and watched over her as she slept, then indeed she would be broken. Sienna clung on to her blind faith in God because it was the only thing that kept her going.
Her greatest fear was that someday her faith would not be enough. One day she’d give in to the voices in her head and cave in. One day she would finally summon up the courage to finish it all instead of just standing there like a fool with a razor clasped in a shaking clammy hand, eyes clenched shut, murmuring encouragements to do it, then eventually sighing
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