Brains for the Zombie Soul (a parody) Read Online Free Page B

cafeteria.
Someone handed me a bowl, and someone else filled it with a
spoonful of... something. It was brown and smelled meaty, but had
the consistency of oatmeal.
    “What is this?” I asked someone after sitting at
a table.
    He took the spoon away from his mouth and said,
“It’s better not to think about it.”
    I took a taste. It was mostly disgusting. If I
had any choice, I wouldn’t have eaten it, but it wasn’t so bad I
couldn’t choke it down.
    After “supper,” I followed the crowd back to the
cabins and collapsed at my bunk. Sometime in the morning, while it
was still dark, an air horn blew. My coworkers started to get up,
and I noticed none of them had gotten undressed or taken a
shower.
    I expected to follow them to breakfast, but we
went straight back to work. This day was much like the last. We
worked straight through with no lunch or breaks until someone fell
asleep at their machine. This time was worse than the last. He was
at a sander, and he fell face first.
    When everyone else went to the cafeteria, I
headed for the office. I would rather have been unemployed than
work in these conditions. Before I got to the building, a guard
stopped me. “Get back to the cafeteria,” he said in a stern
voice.
    “No,” I said. “I’m quitting.”
    He laughed humorlessly. “No you’re not. There’s
no quitting.” Then he grabbed my arm and forcefully escorted me
back to the food line.
    It went on like this for weeks. One coworker
committed suicide by putting his head through a machine. After
that, enough safety guards were put on the machines so heads
couldn’t fit through. That also meant that there were fewer
accidents, so we had even longer days.
    One day, it was still morning, at least as far
as I could tell, and I was cutting boards as usual. Sounds of a
commotion came from outside. The supervisors left to investigate,
so we took the opportunity to go outside and actually see some
sunlight too.
    The police were raiding the compound, arresting
anyone living. I heard the captain having a conversation on the
radio about what they should do with us. “You’ve already got
shelter for them. Shut down the mill, but anyone who wants to stay
in the housing there can. I’ll call the Red Cross and get some
food, clothes, and showers set up in there.”
    Eventually, the old mill was turned into the
Occupational Rehabilitation Center for the Differently Animated.
While wood products were still produced there, the conditions were
safe and pleasant, the work days were reasonable, and zombies were
matched to jobs that suited their qualifications.
    I got a promotion. I am proud to be the new CFO
of ORCDA.

    (back to
TOC)

    ****

    Operation Reanimation
    The third world war introduced many new
types of warfare to the global arena. Perhaps the most incredible
was Operation Reanimation.
    Although technology led the way, there were
still many scenarios where troops were needed. As it is in war,
many soldiers were wounded, killed, or lost. Messages of condolence
were sent to families, who sometimes grieved over a loved one whose
body was not able to be interred.
    The military provided a number of excuses why
the body could not be provided. The soldier was captured by the
enemy and merely a video was presented with evidence of the
soldier’s death. No, the video could not be shown to the family, it
would be too disturbing, and it was top secret. Or perhaps the
soldier was killed in a roadside bomb, and his body was burned
beyond recognition. Or he could have been caught in a fire and
there were no remains left to recover. Or sometimes they simply
told the families that the soldier was missing in action and
presumed to be dead. In desperation, the family would keep their
hopes up that their loved one could eventually come home.
    In some of these cases, while what the families
were told was partly true, the explanation for the missing body was
false. Instead the body was taken to a lab for military
purposes.
    Scientists