Boys Don't Cry Read Online Free Page A

with anyone but you,’ she stated icily. ‘And if you say that again, I’ll slap your face. For your information, I couldn’t put your name down on the birth certificate because you weren’t there with me when I went to register Emma’s birth. I was told I could only put your name down as the dad if we were married or if you were present.’
    She glared at me. I stared at her, finding it harder and harder to breathe. Then Melanie sighed. ‘Look, I . . . I didn’t come here to argue with you. That wasn’t my intention.’
    ‘Then why did you come?’
    Melanie fished in her pocket for her cigarettes. She took one out and it was almost at her lips when she unexpectedly snapped it in two. Tobacco drizzled onto the carpet. Mel dropped the two ends into her pocket before running a shaky hand through her hair.
    ‘Dante, I need to talk to you but I’m running out of time.’
    ‘I don’t understand.’
    I didn’t understand a lot of things. Melanie had turned up at my house and thrown a bomb into my whole life. A bomb that was still sleeping peacefully in its buggy.
    ‘How . . . how come you didn’t have an abortion?’
    Melanie regarded me, then shrugged. A shrug which was meant to mean very little but, combined with her sombre expression, showed just the opposite. ‘Dante, I did think about it. I thought of nothing else for days and weeks. I even went to my doctor so he could send me to my local hospital to have it done. But in the end I didn’t.’
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because from the time I found out I was pregnant, Emma never felt anything less than real to me. So how could I go through with it? I just couldn’t do it.’
    ‘Did you . . . did you think about giving her up for adoption when she was born?’
    Melanie studied me, her face a mask. ‘You blame me,’ she said quietly.
    ‘No. No, I don’t. I just . . . I’m trying to wrap my head around all this.’ Trying. And failing.
    ‘I took one look at Emma and I couldn’t do that either. My aunt did her best to persuade me to give her up but I just couldn’t. My mum had already chucked me out for getting pregnant and my aunt only agreed to let me stay because I said I’d have the baby adopted once it was born.’ Melanie’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears. ‘But the first time I looked at Emma, she felt like the only thing I had left in the whole world. If I lost her, I’d have nothing . . .’
    ‘Your mum kicked you out?’ I didn’t know what to say,how to react to that. How could ten forgettable minutes of not much turn both our lives inside out and upside down like this? ‘Why didn’t you let me know?’
    The faintest of smiles. ‘What would you have done, Dante?’
    ‘I . . . I . . . I have no idea. But to go through all that alone . . .’
    ‘Dante, you had trouble holding a bag containing a pooey nappy. You held Emma like she was a ticking bomb. So what is it that you think you could’ve done?’
    My blank look was answer enough, I guess.
    ‘Exactly,’ said Melanie. ‘That’s why I didn’t even give your name to the child support people when they asked about the father.’
    ‘But your aunt let you stay after the baby was born?’
    ‘Yeah. Only temporarily though,’ said Mel. ‘But I’ve found somewhere else to live now.’
    ‘Is that why you and the baby are heading north? Because of your aunt?’ I asked.
    Melanie nodded. She glanced down at her watch. ‘Dante, could you do me a favour?’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Could you look after Emma for a while? I need to pop to the shops and buy more nappies and some other stuff.’
    Hell, no! ‘Why can’t you take it with you?’
    ‘Stop calling her “it”. And Emma doesn’t like to be moved so soon after falling asleep. She’ll wake up and cry and get really miserable.’
    How exactly was that my problem?
    Except that the baby was supposed to be . . . my . . .my . . . mine. I started to turn to look at it, but I couldn’t. If I didn’t look, didn’t . . . acknowledge it,