both of us, I thought. They came over, but only to talk to Jules. I noticed they never looked directly at her face but at her white tank top, where all the action was.
âGuys love you,â I said later, but Jules just laughed and said, âGuys love anything with mammaries.â
Right now the only person at the table with mammaries smaller than mine is Phoebe, and sheâs six. The first thing she said when I sat down was, âAre you a boy?â and I said, âItâs Evyn with a Y, not Evan with an A ââmy stock answer, which doesnât explain such problems as my hair(chop cut), my outfit (Mackeyâs old sweats), or my chest (non-existent).
âI have three sisters,â she tells me. âAnd two brothers.â
âYes,â I say. âI know.â
The brothers are sitting across from me at this moment. The younger one, Ajax (if you can believe that anyone would name their son after a cleanser), is my age. He is shaped like a brick, and all he talks about so far is sports. Apparently, he is the star forward on the eighth-grade soccer team, and we are all supposed to watch him play in a scrimmage on Saturday. Goody.
The older one is a different story. Ever since he sat down I havenât been able to stop sneaking glances at him. His name is Linus, and I know what youâre thinking, but you are wrong. This Linus is no thumb-sucker. Heâs nineteen years old, first off, with stubble on his chin. Also he is tall, with big shoulders, brown eyes like M&Mâs, and dark curls flopping on his forehead. I think about those curls all through dinnerâhow it might feel to grab hold of one of them and pull, then watch it spring back into place.
I have to pinch myself. No drooling at the table.
Linus eats everything Eleni puts on his plate: olives, stuffed grape leaves, stinky cheese. He has lamb juice on his chin when he says, âWhy canât you cook in my dining hall?â
Eleni pats his arm and says, âMove home.â
It kills me that he lives in a dorm, not with us.
Linus laughs. âHow can I move home? All the beds are taken.â
You can have my bed, I think. Iâll sleep in the storage drawers.
Then I open my mouth. âSo. Linus. Whatâs your major?â This is the question grown-ups are always asking Julesâs sister, Agnes, whenever she comes home from Yale.
Linus looks at me for the first time, and his face says, Who are you?
I look down at my plate, which has suddenly become fascinating; itâs not just a pile of lamb, it is a landscape of pink. Not unlike my face.
âIâm thinking about poli-sci,â Linus says. âMaybe econ. I donât know.â
He tells us he isnât sure what he wants to do when he graduates. âI donât really see myself in politics,â he says. âOr crunching numbers all day. Iâll probably move to Vail and be a professional ski bum.â
I went skiing once. With Jules, when her dad got free passes. My first time down the mountain I thought I was doing greatâtaking my time, making nice wide turnsâwhen some guy in gold snowpants whizzed past me, yelling, âThis isnât the giant slalom trail, moron!â When I tried to flip him the bird, I wiped out and broke my arm.
Professional ski bum. Huh.
I picture Linus at the top of a snowy peak, holding a cup of change and one of those homemade signs. WILL SLALOM FOR FOOD.
Birdie says, âThere are worse things to do with a college degree.â
âTrue,â I say.
Now everyone is looking at me, so I am forced to continue. âYou could be a pirate.â
Linus smiles when I say this. His teeth are as white as a box of Chicletsâa dentistâs dream. Linus has dream teeth. When he says to me, âVery funny,â my stomach jumps up and does the mambo.
CHAPTER FIVE
In the morning, I go up to the attic and stand around in my underwear. This is because Iâm getting