upon herself to look after him.
Seeing Kotoe up and in her usual cheerful mood actually helped Asukai to calm his nerves a little.
(Whether that was an illusion or not, it's not like I've never seen anything that outright bizarre before. . . )
If he kept his cool, he could deal with this, just like he had all along.
He entered his apartment, splashed his face a few times with water from his bathroom sink, and turned to find Kotoe coming in with a big pot in her hands.
“Okay! Today's dinner is especially good, if I do say so myself”
She set the table briskly, as if this were her own room, and placed a steaming hot bowl in front of a slightly embarrassed Asukai.
“It does look good. Thanks.”
“Jin-niisan, you look kinda tired. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. . . it's just a busy time of year. My students are all feeling it, and I catch it from them.”
“That sucks.”
“It's not like you won't be going through the same thing next year yourself.”
Kotoe was a second year student at a local prefectural school called Shinyo Academy.
“Yeah, well. . . I dunno if I'm goin' to college. . .”
She glanced up at him.
“Or maybe. . . I just could go to your cram school and you could teach me. . .”
“When did you decide to go to art school? I teach art history and design, you know.”
“But you also do counseling? I could use some of that. . .”
“We can do that here anytime for free. No reason to sign up where I work.”
“Really?” Kotoe beamed.
“But the kids I counsel are all very serious people. Not so sure about you. . .” he teased, winking.
“That's so mean! Like you think I'm some sort of airhead!” she said, puffing out her cheeks and pouting. But she couldn't keep it up, and soon they were both laughing.
Kotoe let out a little sigh. “I guess I do come across like that. . .”
“And thank god you do. You're better off not needing my help,” Asukai said sincerely, lowering his spoon.
“Mm?”
“I think people need to work their way through their own problems. And with the tests. . . I'm a cram school teacher so there's a lot I can't say. I can't tell them they don't need to go to college. . . even if they really shouldn't be trying. . .”
He glanced over at Kotoe's chest.
She had no 'flower.'
What she did have was a bountiful amount of leaves, which were the domain of kindness and warmth, and her stem and roots were equally secure. But there was no flower to be found.
Kotoe was a good girl.
She wasn't bad looking. Her parents owned several apartment buildings, and were obviously rich. There was no reason at all for her to be unhappy.
But deep in her heart, she wondered, 'Why have I never come across anything definitively radiant?’ Sometimes she would see a really ordinary, average person who was completely passionate about some insignificant thing. This would devastate her -- she would be terribly jealous of them.
But there was nothing she could do about it.
She 'lacked’ that passion, and she would never have it.
“Jin-niisan, you just need to chill.” Never in her wildest dreams able to guess what he was looking at, Kotoe tried using her usual hip slang to cheer him up. “You spend way too much time stressing over other people. You've gotta at least try to make things a little easier on yourself, you know.” She nodded, oddly forceful.
“Th-thanks. But now I don't know which of us is getting counseled,” Asukai grinned.
“Nothing is futile! There is always a path. . . even if it's towards something that doesn't exist yet,” she proclaimed.
“I’m. . . yeah, I guess,” Asukai nodded, but with no conviction. “I wish I could think that. . .”
“But that path may be a trifle. ..cruel. . . it might even go against all that this world deems just,” her voice was so certain; it seemed almost scornful.
“. . Huh?” Asukai looked up. That didn't sound like something Kotoe would say.
He froze.
The vision at her chest had vanished.
It had been