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to reason. Who gives a shit if he had a big heart, if he’s not here to share it? He was always sticking his neck out to help someone. I told him it was going to get him in trouble, but he never listened. His big heart and always having to be the nice guy got him killed. I’m not letting the same thing happen to me. No more of the nice Dakota. No more of the meek and fragile Dakota. No more of Scott’s Dakota. It’s my turn. I’m not trying to kill myself. I’m taking my life back. I’m finally ready to live.”
    “Honey, I get that. I do. But it scares the shit out of me the way you’re going about it. You can’t keep going down this collision course. It’s going to catch up with you.”
    I took a step back, shaking my head. Heat flooded my eyes. “I don’t know how to do anything different.” The dam broke. Tears pooled before spilling over and down my hot cheeks.
    Megan pulled me in for an embrace. “I know, sweetie. Let me help you. It’s what I’m here for, okay?”
    Unable to form words, I nodded.
    “Do you think it would help if you go talk to someone?”
    “No!” My eyes widened. The thought of having to share Scott with a stranger made my stomach somersault.
    “Okay, don’t freak out. We’ll table that idea for now. What about focusing on something positive? Instead of this new badass scary adrenaline shit you seem to be into, why not find something that still has the same effect, but has a positive impact as well?”
    I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but I had to give her credit for trying. She wasn’t screaming at me or smothering me like a wounded child.
    I tilted my head. “I’m listening.”
    Megan paced the length of the room, rubbing her chin, before coming to an abrupt stop. “What about the gym?”
    “I don’t think I can do that. I’m not ready. It still makes me break out into a sweat when I drive by the building.”
    “Okay, that’s not a problem.” Megan planted her hands on her curvy hips and smiled. “Why not find a new facility? Get back up on that hypothetical horse. You love working out and exercise is a legit adrenaline catalyst.”
    I let her words sink in. I wasn’t always the fitness type. In fact, I hated everything about it, including anything that had to do with my body. I had gangly limbs and no ass. My boobs were too big, making me resemble a cartoon character. I always assumed I looked like a freak. I finally got sick of my bitchy mirror and joined, Better You, a health club.
    From the moment I stepped into the gym, I felt all of the judgmental backlash. Stared down by women who looked like they could be supermodels hovering around the cardio machines. I turned to leave, but never made it to the door. A handsome young man wearing workout pants and a Better You polo tapped me on the shoulder. Once I turned around, I was met with his inviting green eyes. His beautiful lips curved into a warm smile. Little tufts of black hair fell across his forehead.
    I was a gym junkie from that moment on. It was his side job, but he poured 110% of himself into whatever he did, priding himself on his work ethic.
    I gazed at Megan, pondering her suggestion. “Well, I have been feeling sluggish lately.”
    A glint of hope shimmered in her eyes. “Excellent! It’s a plan then. Tomorrow you’ll go and find a new health club. A good one. State of the art equipment and maybe a cute trainer or two.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Don’t start.”
    Megan winked and clasped her hands in front of her chest. “I’m still keeping my fingers crossed. How about tonight we binge on crappy food and movies? Kind of like your last night of freedom before hitting the treadmill?”
    I nodded, praying my optimistic friend was right. In the meantime, I put my plan in motion to get rid of my hangover with a tub of cookie dough.

CHAPTER FOUR
    “G et your fucking hands up! If you wanna puss out, you’re not gonna do it my fucking ring. Get your shit together or get out.”
    The