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lights plunging half the room in darkness. “You’ve always thought your mom had your best interest at heart. I’m sure it would be a good place to start.”
    Oh why did he have to be so stubborn all of a sudden?
    I moved forward and sighed. “I’m sorry for the other day.”
    Jon stopped working on the mess.
    “I understand that I’m not letting go and that if I continue going down this road I am going to be nothing but miserable.” I swallowed. “So why not now?”
    He grinned, his hands slipping into his jeans. “What are you waiting for?”
    I closed the space between us, staring up at him. His eyes softened once he realized I wasn’t playing chicken this time.
    “Are you sure you want it to be with me?” He tapped his finger against his bottom lip.
    “You have been the one constant in my life since Eric’s death. I couldn’t imagine who else I’d rather take the first step with.” He grabbed the back of my head pulling me against his lips.
    My mouth opened, I wanted to feel Jon’s kiss. I needed to know it was okay to feel that level of intimacy with another person. I closed my eyes, enjoying the control his hands possessed as he kissed me. The feel of his strong hands against my neck, it pushed me forward, I slipped my hands around his neck.
    Jon wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling away long enough to look into my eyes. He smiled, licking his lips. We connected again, I slid fingers through his hair, trailing them down his neck until they found his chest and stayed there.
    Jon squeezed my hand, his heart pounding. “I like this.”
    I closed my eyes offering up another kiss, pulling away at the image of Eric flashing in my conscience. I backed away shaking my head. Jon knew before I said anything that I regretted it.
    He planted a kiss on my forehead, pulling me into his arms. “Don’t beat yourself up. You tried, that’s still a step.”
    I squeezed him back, pressing my head into his chest. At least he understood.

Chapter six
     
    It has been almost nine months since Eric died and I still wasn’t used to the night life. But I loved and craved it.
    The night called for margaritas and lots of them I gladly welcomed the waiter bringing us refills as soon as me and Ana finished. He always left me with a dashing smile of sorts, I was sure it was flirtation and the idea of a big tip at the end of the night. I didn’t mind, it kept my thoughts away from other things. Like Jon and our failed lip lock.
    Ana did what she always did. Chatter. Like an incessant fly, never knowing when to take a breath. I didn’t know how she did it. Or why I stuck around for it most days.
    I guess I liked to see the good in people. It wasn’t that she was awful; there were times I understood our connection. We had the same sense of humor.
    And fashion, I thought envying the tight black dress she managed to find that I would have died to have for myself.
    “What about him?” Ana asked.
    I studied the blonde surfer type at the bar ordering drinks. “What about him?”
    “He’s hot, and he’s with his friends which are guys so I am pretty sure he is single.” Ana furrowed her brow. “I think you should talk to him.”
    I scoffed, sighing heavily at the whole idea of her trying to set me up. “I’m not looking for a man. I had one.”
    Ana sucked the last of her margarita through her straw. “I know, I know. But everyone needs a nice dick in their life every once in a while.”
    I rolled my eyes at her crude term. “Can’t we call it something else?”
    “Like cock?” Carter said.
    “Yes, like anything other than dick,” I said, fingers going to my mouth. I hadn’t even noticed him coming.
    He took the seat between the two of us. “Sounds like something a lesbian would say.”
    Ana playfully shoved him and smiled. “Oh stop. Morgan is very into men. Right Morgan?”
    Carter smirked , his eyes lit up with a hint of mischief. “This place seems rather slow. What made you pick it?”
    “Ana wanted a