Big Girls Get the Blues Read Online Free Page A

felt like he’d just slapped me, and I staggered backward a couple steps.  Was he right?
    “What is this,” I yelled, “the Doctor Phil show?”
    “He’s a quack.  But I did have to take a bunch of psych courses while I was with the department…and…”
    My anger evaporated as I saw the terrible, haunted look on his face.  I almost took a step closer, but I forced myself to stand perfectly still.  I needed to walk away from him, not to him.
    He looked into my eyes and all humor left his expression.  “And I went through some therapy after I was placed on leave…I’m still going.”
    Whatever had happened when he was a cop must have been pretty damn bad.  I couldn’t imagine what it was…but whatever it was, it was still killing Quinn.
    I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  Feeling sorry for the man is one thing.  To let that feeling dictate whether you’re going to let him back in—into your life and your bed—was another.
    “Cut the psycho-babble,” my voice went hard and icy.  “Speak English.”
    He took a breath to speak English, but I cut him off this time by turning away and moving to the driver’s side door of my GTO. 
    “On second thought, don’t speak at all.  Thanks to you and my dad, I’ve got to find another job in the morning.”
    Quinn’s hand shot out and pushed my car door shut, his warm, rough hand resting on top of mine.  Feeling his flesh against my own ignited a swirling blaze inside me, making my entire body overheat in nothing flat.  My breath rushed out of me, and I felt dizzy; his hot, sweet breath blew across the back of my neck as he spoke.
    “You already have a job.”
    I clenched up and stamped down hard on the desperate need to turn around and kiss him.  It was a hot, potent need, and it was welling up inside me ready to explode.
    “I quit…remember?”  Please go away…please…
    “Teddy says you’re on the payroll until hell freezes over.”  I laughed.  That sounded just like him.  “And I’m not going to accept your resignation…I’m not going to accept anything but you coming back—” His free hand touched the back of my neck, giving me a full-body shiver, and quelling the cacophony of racing thoughts in my head.
    God, it would be so easy to just let him take all my doubts and fears away.  And if he could do it with just the touch of his hand…we should never leave my bedroom again.
    But it was just temporary.  I knew he’d turn into a lying, cheating, abusive asshole sooner or later—men that actively sought out women that looked like me were all the same.  Charming and sexy, great in bed, and then they either vanished without a trace or they became more demanding, more abusive, until…
    Just then Quinn’s fingers ran across the scar I had deep on the back of my neck, up in my hairline—
    And just like that I was terrified and alone, gasping for breath and bleeding, knelt on the floor, broken glass glitter ing from the floor all around me.  And he was standing over me, his belt held in a white knuckled grip, my blood smeared on the silver belt buckle—
    —I spun around and pushed Quinn away from me, hard.  My heart was pounding in my chest from pure, screaming terror.  I hissed, “Get away from me.”
    He stepped back and held up his hands.  “What did I do?”
    I crammed my key in the lock of my car and yanked open the door, shoving myself down behind the wheel.
    “Was that a scar on the back of your neck? ”
    My hands were shaking as I slammed the door and struggled to get the key in the ignition.  Quinn was standing a few feet away and to the side of my car, hands still held up in surrender. 
    “Please talk to me…”
    I threw my car into drive and stomped on the gas, screeching tires and laying rubber as I shot away from the VFW and back to East Carson Street.  Luckily it was very late, and the streets of Pittsburgh were almost desolate.  I think I would have crashed my car if I had to maneuver through