Between a Wok and a Hard Place Read Online Free

my background.
    "I don't believe they exist," I said honestly. "But I'm not sure they don't. Is that answer good enough for you?"
    "Yah, that's a good answer. I would have said the same thing yesterday."
    "And today?" I asked. It is possible there was a trace of impatience in my voice.
    He smoothed an imaginary wrinkle in his gray polyester pants. "Last night-early this morning, really, I saw a flying
    saucer."
    I stared at him. As much as I hate to admit it, there was a difference hearing those words come from my father-in-
    law's lips, and, let's say, a Harvard-educated man who makes over a million dollars a year. Or even a high school-
    educated movie star who makes ten million dollars a year.
    "Pops - "
    "Oh, I know, Magdalena, now you're going to think I'm crazy, on top of being meddlesome, but I saw what I saw."
    "Little green men with big bald heads?"
    "I didn't see the occupants. I only saw the saucer."
    I decided to humor him. After all, he was my Pooky Bear's father. Besides, if I was eighty-one and the Easter bunny
    came to visit, I would want someone to listen to me.
    "Do tell," I said politely.
    "Well, I only saw it for a few seconds. It landed in my pasture across the road."
    Poor man. That cow pasture wasn't even his, but be- longed to a corporation called The Beef Trust, composed of
    Pops and his sisters. The farm, under Pops's care, had lost money over the years. When the farm sold, most of the
    money would go to repay debts. Pops's undoubtedly small share wouldn't even see him inside the front door of Hernia's
    Home for the Mennonite Aged, much less keep him there the rest of his unnaturally long life.
    Enter a developer who showed a keen interest in Pops's property. Unfortunately the man was threatening to build
    Hernia's first real shopping center smack dab in the middle of it. I say threatening, because several Amish families had
    banded together and were preparing to make Pops an offer he couldn't refuse. The odds were though that the Amish offer
    would fall far below that of the developer and would not be accepted. Of course that would be a shame - although it would
    be nice to have a Wal-Mart and a Payless within walking distance. One must consider progress, after all.
    Or would it be so nice? What would the rich and famous prefer to view as they rocked on my front porch; a giant
    parking lot, or a green pasture dotted with grazing cows? It didn't take a genius to figure that one out. No doubt even
    Melvin Stoltzfus would come up with the right answer if given three tries. Although Aaron Jr. might not be happy with my
    decision, I was going to figure out some way to get the Amish families to raise a donation large enough to impress the
    developer.
    "Magdalena? Did you hear what I said?"
    I smiled. "Of course, dear. You saw a flying saucer land across the road. How nice for you."
    Aaron Sr. muttered something that sounded vaguely insulting and left the room.

    I had two missions now, one foisted on me by Melvin, the other placed on my shoulders like a mantle - well, it was
    sort of a revelation. At any rate, I certainly didn't have time to shmooze with Wilmar Brack, the back specialist. He had no
    business lurking in the hallway just outside my room.
    Allow me to describe the PennDutch briefly to you. At one time it was a large, two-story farmhouse built by my great-
    great-grandfather, Jacob "The Strong" Yoder. At that time it had four bedrooms to house himself, his wife (my great-great-
    grandmother, of course!) and their sixteen children.
    It had undergone extensive remodeling since then. Guests are required to enter through the front door the first time,
    and when they do they find themselves in a vestibule that contains a counter topped with a cash register and a rack of
    colorful and informative brochures describing area attractions.
    A door on the right opens into a large sitting room, complete with a stone fireplace. This is the least changed room in
    the place. Great-great Granny Yoder used to