Belonging Read Online Free Page A

Arthur went out to India when James was still just a boy, so they did not see each other for many years. I told James I found the prospect of marrying a god alarming. I hope Arthur is endowed with more patience than the Greek gods in our school books or you will shortly be corresponding with a linden tree! The more I learn about him, the more I am in trepidation of meeting him again.
    Darling Mina, I miss Home so much already! For the first two nights aboard I lay in my bunk and wept with loneliness, but on the third day (as you were not here to do it) I gave myself a proper lecture, and after I had recovered from its severity (and the sulks that followed it) I decided to make myself useful to poor Louisa. Her condition makes her susceptible to mal de mer , and Luxmibai, the children’s ayah, is also suffering, so I have become not just nursemaid but fellow pirate to Freddie and Sophie. I have made Freddie an eye patch so he can pretend to be Admiral Nelson, which fancy he indulges me in, although he says he would rather be the Duke of Wellington as he intends to be a soldier when he grows up, like his uncle Arthur. Little Sophie, on the other hand, is very ladylike, even at three. She is so gentle and sweet, yet has such dignity. She is very like Louisa. If any of the gentlemen tease her she looks at them so gravely they are quite discomfited. Freddie finds the rough seas wonderfully exciting and I share his pleasure in them, so we romp about on deck playing hide-and-seek and admiring the great waves lashing the side while Sophie sits and watches us.
    Everyone has been very kind and James is taking good care of me. There is a rigid order of precedence aboard the ship, which Louisa tells me I must get used to. She says that, in India, preceding someone of higher status into a room can cause mortal offence! So, as an unmarried lady, affianced to amere major in the Indian Army, I should be seated at a lower table; but, as I am also the future sister-in-law of a collector and magistrate, I have been placed beside James at the table of the ‘Heaven-Born’.
    Mina, you cannot imagine how alarming it is to find oneself surrounded by these Olympians. They argue and bicker about how India should be ruled and the best way of dealing with the natives, quite as the Greek gods used to fight amongst themselves about the tricks they planned to play upon poor mortals. The talk at table is all of politics. I feel very foolish and stupid, but they are all perfect gentlemen and, having realised the extent of my ignorance, have taken it upon themselves to educate me. At every meal, therefore, I sink under the weight of words such as ‘annexation’ and ‘abdication’ (I am still on the letter A!). Apparently Lord Dalhousie has been annexing native rulers’ kingdoms like a governess confiscating sweets from naughty boys, and there are fears the natives may rebel. Some of the Great and Good, like Mr. Weston, say the natives should prefer to be ruled by us for we are just and impartial; others, like James, feel the natives do not necessarily appreciate what is good for them but would rather be ruled by their own kings, however corrupt and dissolute these may be. Fortunately, when I begin to drown, James diverts their attention with some observation about ‘growing unrest among the Zamindars’ or some such exotic phrase (he has reached Z).
    After an evening of such talk I retire to my bed with my head spinning. I am so worried that when Arthur meets me again he will realise how empty-headed I am and regret his proposal.
    You are naturally wondering why I do not talk to the ladies, but they are even more alarming than their husbands.I spend much of my time at table trying to avoid Mrs. Weston’s scrutiny. She is the wife of a judge and her eyes bear a remarkable resemblance to those of the poached pike we used to have on Fridays. The life of a memsahib seems so dull! They talk of nothing but their servants – their laziness, dishonesty and