Bang Read Online Free

stand up too, grabbing a roll from the top tray and
    pulling a hunk off. “You should try to eat something,” I
    say. “You’re going to need the energy.”
He gives me a weary smile. “Does that mean it only
    gets worse from here?”
I nod, taking a bite of the roll.
“And it doesn’t end until . . . ?”
I swallow. “Until it’s over.”
We walk to the door and he pauses. “Wait a sec.”
    With his free hand he reaches into his pocket. “I hope this
    isn’t weird,” he says, “and you can say no and I won’t be
    offended or anything, but I can’t stand not being able to
    talk to you, especially with . . . this thing going on.” He
    pulls out a cell phone and hands it to me. “It’s just one of
    those cheap prepaid ones. No frills. Phone only.”
I take it, and it feels like I just got out of jail. “You are
    brilliant,” I say, turning it over in my hand, and then I look
    up at him and my heart swishes. “Thank you.”
“Don’t get caught.”
“I won’t.” I shove the phone into my pocket and reach
    up, thumbing the corner of his mouth until he gives me
    the smile I love. “I’ll call you tonight.” It’s amazing how
    nice it feels to be able to say that.
He hesitates, his hand on the doorknob. “Jules?”
I look at him.
“In the vision, I don’t see any faces I know.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure what he’s trying to say. “Okay, well,
    that’s good, right?”
But that’s not what he means. He hesitates, and then
    he squeezes his eyes shut like he’s making the hardest decision of his life and says, “I was kind of wondering what happens if I don’t want to do this.”
Six
    The bell rings before I can answer, and besides,
    the question is too much to absorb in ten seconds, so we
    say a hasty good-bye. All afternoon I think about what
    he said. And I wonder. If he doesn’t know or care about
    any of the people in the vision, does he have to do something? Is he legally obligated to do something? What about, like, morally?
    My guess is that my vision probably would have gone
    away whether I saved people or not, but I didn’t know that
    back then. Does that change anything? I go back in time
    in my mind. If I knew that the vision would stop pounding me at every turn if I only waited long enough, would I have done what I did?
    That one’s not hard. Sure I would have, because of
    Sawyer’s dead face in the body bag. But then I wonder how I
    would have looked at it had it been a stranger’s face. If every
    part of the vision stayed the same except Sawyer wasn’t
    going to be hurt or killed, would I have done what I did?
    Not quite as simple, but the answer is still yes, because
    it was Sawyer’s family business, and chances were good
    that some family members filled the other body bags. And
    as much as we both are disgusted by our parents’ behavior—and I’m not talking just my dad’s affair with Sawyer’s mom, but also the ridiculous rivalry over a stupid sauce
    recipe—that doesn’t mean we want them to die, and I
    wouldn’t want Sawyer to go through that pain.
    But what if I knew back then what I know now, and
    it wasn’t Angotti’s restaurant but some other restaurant
    somewhere else? If I knew that the visions would get
    worse and become insane, but I knew that it would end
    as soon as the crash was over, would I still risk my life to
    save those people?

    I don’t think I know the answer.

    In the evening, while everybody’s still down in the restaurant and I’m stuck doing mountains of worksheets and make-up quizzes that didn’t come home with one of
    the sibs, my mind wanders to it again. I pull out the cell
    phone, wondering if Sawyer is working, wondering if he’s
    slammed or if he maybe has time to talk.
    I start pressing the numbers I know by heart but
    hardly ever get to use thanks to my father, and the phone’s
    address book recognizes them and brings up Sawyer’s
    name with a <3 next to it. I smile and look at it for a minute, and then I press the call