Bad Chili Read Online Free

and be one. But I don’t get Amy’s reasoning. I say I want some pussy, I’m sayin’ I want some lovin’, I’m not calling her a pussy, I’m callin’ her pussy a pussy. And like, you know, that’s as good a slang for what’s down there as dick or cock is for what we got in our drawers. Someone called me a dick, I might get mad, but Amy told me she wanted a little dick, the reading is different, don’t you think?”
    “When it comes to women, I don’t know which way to go. So you’re askin’ the wrong boy. I haven’t got anything against women or men in general. I just think some of them are assholes.”
    “There you go. You just said
assholes
. Can you say that, or does that like go on your cosmic record?”
    “Reckon it depends on who’s keepin’ score.”
    “Yeah, that’s another trip, ain’t it. All this religious business. Christians think you got to do good ’cause you want to go to heaven, but if you do good ’cause you want to do good and don’t believe in that shit, then they figure it’s the slow oven for you anyway. They like a god that’s a bully, makes you want to do good ’cause he’s gonna rough you up. Life is just one big mess after another, ain’t it?”
    “It’s funny how sex can make one philosophical, isn’t it, Charlie.”
    “I’ll say, and while we’re being philosophical, that magazine you got there, let me tell you, there’s a redhead in there would make you write a hot check and rob a filling station pretty damn quick.”
    “Skip the details.” I put the magazine on the bed table. “What are the books?”
    Charlie took out a Harlequin romance and put it on top of the magazine.
    “You’re kiddin’?”
    “Hey, my wife tossed it out. She reads ’em by the handfuls. I don’t have a lot of money, you know. I made do with what I could get my hands on. Millions of readers can’t be wrong. I did nab you this one, however.”
    He handed me a paperback western.
    “We’ll, one out of three isn’t bad,” I said.
    “Got it at a garage sale. There’s a few pages torn out, but it reads pretty good.”
    “You see Leonard?”
    “Nope. Not in a while. I thought he’d be up here nesting in a chair.”
    “Hasn’t even come by. He’s been having boyfriend problems. I figure that has something to do with it.”
    “Raul?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Leonard doesn’t have patience with that boy. Raul is all right.”
    “I don’t like him. I get this feeling there isn’t much to him, and what there is to him isn’t much.”
    “It’s a friend thing, you know. Hard to understand the girls or boys a friend picks. They all seem wrong. I was the same way with Hanson. Though I got to say, this ex-wife of his, Rachel, he shouldn’t have lost her. She’s all right, way she’s takin’ care of him. And she’s a looker too.”
    “I don’t get it, Charlie. They been divorced for years. He throws his head through a windshield, bounces it off a tree, and suddenly she’s puttin’ a pee tube in his shank and feeding him processed green beans.”
    “She ain’t feedin’ him shit. He gets his food through a tube. And maybe that ain’t such a bad marriage. She don’t have to put up with his bullshit, nor he with hers. He may be luckier than everybody. He don’t put up with no bullshit at all. And he gets his dick handled more than I do, and I’m awake. But I was talkin’ about you and Leonard. Close as you guys are, I think you’re kinda jealous of the time Raul steals from you and him. It’s almost like a marriage thing without the fuckin’. Well, actually, my marriage seems to be pretty much without the fuckin’. Still, you need a woman, Hap. Even like, you know, the local poke.”
    “Oh, that’s an elevated view. Very modern, Charlie.”
    “I’m just sayin’, a little goomba, it goes a long ways. Kinda gets the fluid out from behind the eyes, straightens the back. Maybe clears the complexion.”
    “My complexion is just fine.”
    “Hey, give it time. It’ll