I went on outpost, but I did not know where exactly, as things were getting hazy in my mind. I tried to keep a diary, although it was against orders. Anyway, I couldn’t realize all that was happening, and only knew that I was always tired, hungry, unshaven, and dirty. My feet were sore, water was scarce: in fact, it was issued in half-pints, as we were not allowed to touch the native water. The regulations were kept in force in that respect so much so that two men were put under arrest and sentenced to field punishment for stealing bread from an empty house.
Then, again, it wasn’t straight marching. For every few hours we had to deploy, and beat off an attack, and every time somebody I knew was killed or wounded. And after we had beaten off the attacking force, on we went again retiring.
August 29th
– A despatch was read to us, from General French, explaining that the B.E.F. was on the west of a sort of horseshoe, and that the retirement was to draw the Germans right into it, when they would be nipped off. That afternoon we went to a place called Chauny to guard the river while some R.E.’s blew up the bridges. It was a change from the everlasting marching, and we managed to get some vegetables out of the gardens and cook them. A few Uhlans appeared, but got away again in spite of our fire. So far as I could tell there wasn’t a single civilian in the town, and all the houses were barricaded; while outside of them were buckets of wine-pink, blue, red, whitish, and other colours. We were not allowed to drink any.
August 30th
– Just as we were leaving Chauny – about 4 a.m. – two girls were found and were taken along with us.
Although all the bridges were blown up, the Germans were after us almost immediately. God only knew how they got over so soon. Their fire was heavy but high; the few we saw were firing from their hips as they advanced. We fired for about half an hour. Then the artillery came into action, and we retired about two or three miles under cover of their fire. Then we waited till the Germans came up, and we began all over again, and then again, and then again, all day long. It was terribly tiring, heart-breaking work, as we seemed to have the measure of the Germans, and yet we retired.
During the evening the Guards Brigade took over the rearguard work while our Brigade went on to Castle Isoy, and bivouacked and slept for about six hours.
August 31st
– Again we were rearguard, but did little fighting. We marched instead, staggering about the road like a crowd of gipsies. Some of the fellows had puttees wrapped round their feet instead of boots; others had soft shoes they had picked up somewhere; others walked in their socks, with their feet all bleeding. My own boots would have disgraced a tramp, but I was too frightened to take them off, and look at my feet. Yet they marched until they dropped, and then somehow got up and marched again.
One man (Ginger Gilmore) found a mouth-organ, and, despite the fact that his feet were bound in blood-soaked rags, he staggered along at the head of the company playing tunes all day. Mostly he played ‘The Irish Emigrant,’ which is a good marching tune. He reminded me of Captain Oates.
An officer asked me if I wanted a turn on his horse, but I looked at the fellow on it, and said, ‘No thanks.’
The marching was getting on everyone’s nerves, but, as I went I kept saying to myself, ‘If you can, force your heart and nerve and sinew.’ Just that, over and over again.
That night we spent the time looking for an Uhlan regiment, but didn’t get in touch with them, and every time we stopped we fell asleep; in fact we slept while we were marching, and consequently kept falling over.
September 1st
– We continued at the same game from dawn till dark, and dark till dawn – marching and fighting and marching. Every roll call there were fewer to answer – some were killed, some wounded, and some who had fallen out were missing.
During this afternoon we