At Drogan’s Command (Hades Helmet Crew) Read Online Free Page B

loved crowds and nights out on the town, with a woman on each arm.
    Also, Rena knew she lacked that sexual spark that men like Drogan and Jason Mercy were drawn to. They liked women who oozed sexual experience. She may have had a wild week at the Fantasy Spa, but put her in a position like that in real life and she would have no idea what to do. Sex with a real man scared her. Lover after lover had told her she was fine in bed, but in her mind “fine” meant boring. It was easier to be with a machine, her hand, or a vibrator than to risk being with someone who would inevitably go elsewhere when he realized just how limited she was when it came to sex.
    Rena’s imagination knew no bounds, but she was too scared to live out her fantasies, especially the darker ones involving submission that she had played out during her time at the spa. She doubted anyone would believe her if she told them what she had done during her week off.
    She glanced at Drogan, who was watching her closely, seeming to gauge her reaction to his words. She looked down at the floor, still not sure what to say.
    “It can be lonely out here,” she suddenly blurted out, startling herself with how sad she sounded. She had allowed part of her guard to come down, exposing her vulnerability.
    “Yes, it can be,” Drogan agreed. “But that is no reason to jump into some meaningless fling with Jason to fill the void.”
    She raised her chin, feeling defiant. “Why not?”
    “Because you deserve better,” he murmured.
    She clenched her jaw. He sounded like he was talking to a child, like he was trying to show her the error of her ways. What was wrong with wanting to be desired? What was wrong with remembering, just for a moment, what it was to feel?
    Rena realized, all of a sudden, that she was tired of her crush on Drogan. It hurt to want someone and know that they would never want you. Regulations be damned, she wanted to lose herself in a meaningless fuck, like she had done on Elysian 8.
    “Maybe I don’t want better. Maybe I just want to forget.” She refused to look at Drogan to see his reaction.
    “Forget what?” he asked in that same soft, patronizing tone that was now grating on her nerves.
    “I want to forget that I’m wallpaper, that no one sees me, that all of the men on the crew treat me like a sister or a friend, but not like a woman. You guys love to stare at Ensign Lucinda’s assets. She bends over and all the guys stop and stare. I could do the same thing and…nothing.” She knew she was digging herself a hole that she wouldn’t be able to get out of, but she was too tired and angry to care. “I just want to be the center of attention for once, even if I know it means nothing.”
    “Rena—”
    “Forget it. Never mind. You wouldn’t understand. Forget I even said anything. It was stupid.”
    She turned on her heel and left, ignoring him as he called after her. The doors swooshed shut and she power-walked to the lifts. She punched the call button with more force than it needed.
    “You okay, Rena?” Jason asked. She had barely even noticed he was there, waiting for the elevator alongside her. Suddenly a wicked urge took hold of her.
    “Do you want to have dinner with me?” she asked. Her brain and mouth were still not cooperating with each other.
    “Sure. What time should I pick you up?” Jason asked, grinning.
    “Eight o’clock.”
    “I’ll be there.”
    “Don’t be late. This is a one-time offer.”
    The elevator doors slid open and she stepped in. Turning around, she punched the button for her floor. As the doors closed she saw the shocked look on Drogan’s face. He had overheard the conversation. Good.
    Once the doors were closed, Rena leaned against the back of the car, head hanging down, heart threatening to beat out of her chest.
    Oh fuck, what the hell have I done? She groaned.
    When the doors opened to her floor, she walked out, shaking her head, her mind going a mile a minute trying to think of a way to get