ARC: Essence Read Online Free Page B

didn’t you leave with her?”
    She leaned sideways until our shoulders touched. “Sometimes, sweetheart, you have to decide where your loyalties lie. And mine lie with you and my little sister.”
    As she smoothed her pants and stood to go, she added, “I love your mother more than anyone in this world, but I don’t always agree with her choices. And you are the only one who can decide what fits for you, because you are the one who has to live with that choice.”
     
    I was still holding the stuffed lion when a second pair of footsteps echoed up the wooden stairs. I started and shoved the doll beneath my pillow.
    The second my mother entered, I knew something was wrong.
    I mean, bad wrong.
    Her jaw was set in a firm line, and she clutched a piece of paper in one hand and a bottle of painkillers in the other. “Autumn,” she said. “I brought you some medicine for your nerves, and I also brought you this.” She extended the paper. It was crisp and official, with Caltrain Voucher printed carefully at the top.
    I felt my stomach drop. “A train ticket? Why did you buy me a train ticket?”
    “It’s not just a train ticket.” She pressed the paper into my hand. “It’s a ticket to Los Gatos, to a Centrist meditation retreat run by Cedar’s cousin Rayn.”
    “You can’t be serious.” My voice cracked. “I don’t need to go to an Essence treatment center.”
    “It’s not an Essence treatment center. It’s a retreat. A good one, filled with space and peace and light, everything you need to get back in touch with your neutrality.” She frowned and closed my fingers around the ticket. “Autumn, I’m only suggesting this because Cedar thinks it’s the best decision. For all of us. You have been an emotional wreck ever since Brady died, and, frankly, I can’t understand this recent explosion about your hair. You are becoming a danger, both to yourself and to this family, and I refuse to let you–”
    “Oh, I see.” I felt my temper rising. “You want to send me away, not because you care about my well-being, but because you don’t want to have to deal with me anymore. Three months of sadness is just too much for Cedar, and we both know you’ll always choose him over me. Isn’t that right?”
    “Autumn!” She stared at me in horror. “This is exactly why Cedar suggested Los Gatos in the first place.” She backed away from me. “We can discuss this more tomorrow, but I’m going to ask you to get your temper under control. Your emotions are becoming dangerous, and I will not allow you to ruin everything we have given you.”
    She strode away, but my anger didn’t cease. I was livid, but more than that, I was determined. I was not going to Los Gatos.

 
    CHAPTER FOUR
     
    I’m not sure what I said in the note I left. I know I scribbled it haphazardly on the back of my train ticket, and I imagine it said something like “ I left to find out if Brady’s death was an accident. I’m not sure I believe in Essences anymore .”
    But that’s just a guess. I was so panicked and infuriated that I honestly blacked out for a little while. It wasn’t until I’d thrown a fistful of belongings into a backpack, squeezed out my window and started running back toward Golden Gate Park that I finally began to comprehend the reality of my situation.
    If I stay, Cedar may send me to Los Gatos. If I go…
    What will happen?
    I slowed to a trot inside the park’s entrance. I’d had a strange conversation with Ryder and his friends, but I didn’t know who they were. I didn’t know what they were doing, or what they stood for, or really anything about them – except that they wore showy clothes and smiled a lot and seemed unconcerned about the parameters of what was expected of them.
    They mentioned going to a place called the Sierras in a couple of days. Wasn’t that a mountain range? If I went with them, would I be able to return?
    Was I even really invited?
    I shifted my backpack and clutched the silver