Anywhere's Better Than Here Read Online Free Page B

bathroom and part of the living-room through the door frame. Ed was already up. Anybody would think he had a job to go to. He would be making her a cup of tea and a slice of toast. This was the only thing Ed did for her and even this he managed to cock up. The tea was always much too weak and the toast not toasted enough. She was constantly turning the dial on the toaster up a bit, but to no avail. Ed had seen something on TV about the carbon in burnt toast causing cancer and now he wouldn’t let Laurie eat it the way she liked it.
    He came into her field of vision, carrying the tray carefully in front of himself. He kept looking down at the tray, his mouth slightly open. Despite the fact she was staring at him, he didn’t look up at her until he’d set the tray down securely on the bed in front of her.
    â€˜â€˜There we go.’’
    She looked down at the tray. One piece of bleached toast slathered in margarine. One cup of piss weak tea. She knew he meant well and she knew that she should appreciate his efforts. She smiled at him, wondering when he’d last seen her genuine smile. In fact, when was the last time she’d smiled genuinely at all? Last night didn’t count, of course. It was if she’d veered off her approved script and started being a different character.
    He sat and watched her eating as he did every morning. She looked up at him.
    â€˜â€˜What is it?’’
    â€˜â€˜Nothing Ed. I was just wondering what you were doing today.’’
    â€˜â€˜Oh. The usual.’’ He stood up from the bed and started to pick up clothes from the floor. He gathered together a pile’s worth and dumped them by the door.
    â€˜â€˜Not those.’’ She stood up and pulled a couple of things from the pile. ‘‘I need those for work.’’ She shook out her trousers and cardigan. Now she’d have to try and find some clean knickers.
    â€˜â€˜Perhaps you’d like to fit a visit to the laundrette into your busy schedule.’’
    â€˜â€˜Maybe,’’ he sighed, sitting down at the computer. ‘‘I still have enough clothes left for a while though.’’
    She knew she’d end up wearing her emergency pants to work and that she’d be spending time tonight washing stuff in the sink and then part drying things with the hair dryer.
    â€˜â€˜Well, as long as you’re okay for a while.’’
    He ignored her. She walked into the bathroom and gave herself a cat’s lick. She was clean enough. She pulled her clothes on, stuck her hair in a pony-tail and opened her make up bag. What she saw in the mirror depressed her even further. She was getting older; there was no doubt about it. She rubbed foundation into her face and attempted to make herself look healthy with blusher and mascara. The trouble was, she was so pale in the winter that it was hard to look okay without looking like a dolly. She tried to blend her blusher in to make it look natural, but she knew she looked daft. She wet a bit of toilet paper and scrubbed at her cheeks. Slightly better, but now she looked a bit consumptive.
    She couldn’t be bothered to brush her teeth. She also couldn’t be bothered saying good bye to Ed. She picked her handbag up from the hall and left the flat, deliberately slamming the door behind her.
    She made it to the bus stop just in time. There were several other people waiting. All of them were listening to headphones and ignoring everyone else. She fished around in her bag for her bus pass as she boarded. There were still a few seats free at the back. She slid across into one and was immediately joined by an angry looking middle-aged woman who glared at her whilst taking up more than her half of the seat. Laurie moved over as far as she could and stared into the hair of the passenger sitting in front of her.
    Suddenly it occurred to her. She could get off the bus at any time – anywhere she liked.