Brandon was regaling them with tales of his days making house-calls as a computer repairman, “I knock on the door to this guy’s house to fix his computer, right? And his wife answers the door buck ass naked .”
There were howls of laughter from his buddies in the I.T. department.
“The way I figured it, she was just horny – and her computer ‘breaking’ was just an excuse to get a well-hung brother over to do what her husband wasn’t!”
More howls of laughter.
“Oh, I gave her my hard drive, alright,” Brandon roared. “And before I left, I uploaded all over her fat ass!”
That moved the conversation on towards wives in general, and a few of Brandon’s colleagues expressed frustration similar to what he’d experienced.
“Ever since the kid was born, my wife just ain’t interested,” a technician called Lou complained.
“It’s Friday nights or nothing,” a guy called Ted complained, “if I bring home flowers – and I’m lucky.”
Brandon rolled his eyes.
“Man, this is why I got divorced. Putting up with that shit?” He swigged his beer. “No fucking way.” The big, black man turned to David. “So, B-man. How’dyou get over your wife saying ‘no’?”
Maybe it was the beer. Perhaps it was the shot. Most probably, it was because David felt not a little pride in getting more tail than any of the men sitting at the table. In any event, he shared his little secret.
“I get some every night,” he boasted. “Sometimes more, if I’m in the mood.”
Every man at the table – including the swaggering Brandon – turned and listened to David at that point.
“See, she listens to these hypnosis tapes, right?” David was digging the attention, and swallowed his reluctance to share these personal details. “She lies down, and it just out cold. So if I want some?” He winked in an attempted display of suave confidence. “I just go in there and take it .”
“You mean, she just lies there?” Ted asked in hushed tones.
David nodded. “She’s out cold. I could bring one of you guys home to look at her, and she’d never even know.” He raised his glass. “Here’s to that, right?”
The rest of the guys raised their glasses and chinked. All except Brandon. David didn’t notice at the time, but Brandon was staring at David particularly intently; uncomfortably so.
In no short time, the conversation had shifted course, and the I.T. guys were discussing which female member of the sales team had the nicest breasts.
David sat back and didn’t say anything; still wallowing in his moment in the spotlight. As a textbook introvert, it wasn’t often he felt like the centre of attention; even if it did come at his wife’s expense.
At close to nine, the guys at the table started to disperse and David used that as an excuse to tell Brandon: “We’ve got to leave.”
At first the big black man complained – but when it came apparent that nobody else was hanging back, or (more importantly) buying any more shots, he reluctantly grabbed his coat and followed David to the door.
A few minutes later, they were rolling down Route 110 in David’s Camry.
David was annoyed. He wished he’d had the balls to tell Brandon “no” when he’d demanded a ride home. Brandon lived on the other part of town; and David actually had to drive past his own house to get the big guy home.
But while that was inconvenient, Brandon was at least making the trip entertaining.
“So you know that cute little intern last summer?” Brandon boasted. Alison had been a tiny slip of a girl – 98lbs soaking wet and from a hugely overprotective Jewish family. “I fucked her.”
David’s eyes widened and he gripped the steering wheel harder.
“No way,” he scoffed. “She was such a good little girl! She went home early every Friday for shabat and everything!”
Brandon laughed heartily.
“It’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for, brother! She pulled my pants down in the server room and boy can that