wet slush out toward the
sidewalk as it went by.
“So
you think you can make it tonight?” Kate asked. “It’s just going to be pizza
with some of the girls from the team. Maybe some of their boyfriends. It’s not
even a party, really.”
“I
don’t know,” Jeremy looked down at the sidewalk. “I’ll ask, but…you know.”
They
took another couple steps in silence, but when Kate spoke again her voice was
softer. “Did you have the dream again?”
“No.”
Kate
stopped and turned to look at him. Jeremy took another two steps, hoping she
would let it go, but there was no chance. He stopped and turned back to meet
her icy stare. He hated it when she acted like this.
After
his dad’s death, Jeremy got to the point where he expected the looks from
people—the asinine way they would tilt their chins slightly at an angle
whenever they talked to him, as if they were trying to see inside his head. He
expected the quiet, soothing voices too, as if people thought shouting or even
talking at a normal human volume would somehow be too much for him to handle in
his fragile state. He even stopped being surprised when people gave him the
“sympathy touch,” that awkward hand over his shoulder whenever they talked to
him about his dad, as if to say in that one touch that everything would be
okay; as if his life was reduced to some goddamn Hallmark-channel movie.
Jeremy
ignored most of it. Usually he chalked it up to people being self-obsessed
idiots. He knew they couldn’t care less about him and his dad; they were only
trying to get through that awkward minute when they had to stand and talk to
the dead doctor’s son. So they would tilt their heads and lower their voices
and touch his arm, because “everything’s going to be okay.”
But
Kate was different. She knew better. And when she looked at him the way she
looked now, Jeremy always felt like he was broken—and he hated it.
“I
didn’t dream about my dad last night. Okay?”
Kate
shook her head, “So you’ve been having the same dream about your dad every
night for the last six months, and you’re telling me it just stopped last
night?”
“I
didn’t see him,” Jeremy sounded even less convincing than before, and Kate
stood unmoving.
Finally,
he gave up, “Listen, I didn’t see my dad last night, that’s the truth. But I
heard him. I think I heard his voice.”
Kate
started walking again, and like before, Jeremy fell into step beside her; she
looked over. “What did he say?”
“Just
my name. Like in the other dreams. He just says my name like he wants
something, but it was all black this time.”
Kate
nodded. “Did you say anything back to him? In your dream?”
Jeremy
shook his head.
“Did
you tell your mom about it yet?”
Jeremy
gave a mock laugh. “Why would I do something like that?”
Kate
stopped again. “Jeremy—”
“No.”
Jeremy turned around and looked at her. “I’m not going to tell my mom about
some stupid recurring dream about my dad. She doesn’t need that.”
Kate
rolled her eyes. “Well you need to tell someone.”
“I
do tell someone. I tell you.”
They
started walking again down the sidewalk. The group of boys playing at their
snowball fight were just in front of them, but as Jeremy and Kate approached,
the boys stopped and stood in place, one of them hefting a snowball in his
gloved hand. It was a momentary truce to allow the two senior intruders time to
pass.
Jeremy
and Kate kept walking, but as they went by, a heavy, wet snowball exploded
across the back of Kate’s parka.
She
wheeled around on the boys. “Hey!”
Jeremy
laughed. Then he dropped his backpack to the sidewalk and ran to the slush pile
to make a snowball of his own. One of the boys, probably the one who threw the
snowball at Kate—a short, squat little boy with carrot-red hair, and a million
freckles dotting his face—ran up the sidewalk. Jeremy scooped up two handfuls
of snow and started after him.
Then
everything