his pocket, shredding it with my gloved hands right in front of his eyes. âWood-rat nesting material.â
âStop,
mon
.â Raulâs voice is distressed. âIt said in the article that the parents who adopted kids from this baby stealer had no idea.â
I stare at the pieces of paper and feel my shoulders slump. âEven if we
were
adopted illegally, it wouldnât change anything. Why hurt our parentsâ feelings?â
âMy parents donât have feelings. And yours are way too sensitive. You have to start standing up to them, Andreo. Itâs your lifeâyour historyâtheyâre hiding from you. Donât tell me you arenât curious. You with all the nightmares.â
âSo what if Iâm curious?â I allow, ignoring the rest of his speech. âWhat about you? You want to find your birth parents if itâs possible? Youâre not scared?â
He hesitates, my friend whoâs usually all bluff. âYeah,â he says quietly. âI want to know, I want to meet them, but another part of me doesnât want to. They could bemonsters, right? Or they could be nice. Or they could be super pissed I chased them down. But this news story, this new informationâhow can we just ignore it? Itâs a sign or something.â
I lean back into the hard rock wall. âDonât we have to be, like, eighteen before they let us ask for records?â
âBut thatâs just the point. There are no records if weâre black-market babies. And weâre heading to Cochabamba for this race. We could poke into it while weâre there.â His headlamp seems to be searching my face, which has gone taut. âWithout your parents knowing.â
With effort, I unclench my jaw. âLet me think about it, okay? I donât want to talk about it anymore. Letâs find this mystery exit youâre so sure about.â With that, I plunge back into the shoulder-width passage, inching forward, but Iâm so distracted that I neglect to put all five senses on the alert.
Ten minutes after squeezing past the former dead end, it hits me. The air movement, the pinprick of light aheadâand the smell.
â
Eeeww
, did you just fart?â comes the muffled voice of my caving partner behind me.
I take a deep breath and have to fight a sudden need to vomit. Dead wood rat? Pile of dead wood rats? Something oily and almost overpoweringly rank, yet not the smell of death. I lift my head the three inches that the space will allow me to, my nose wrinkled to close my nostrils. I hold perfectly still, listening, breathing through my mouth, staring ahead.
â
Shhhh
,â I caution Raul and reach up to flick off my headlamp. Inky blackness. Had I been imagining the light? No way. And the air movement: gone now, totally gone. Like a boulder might have rolled from somewhere to block the exit while we were talking.
Slowly, quietly, I bring my right arm up and twist it back and over my shoulder. I feel around for my trekking pole. With difficulty, I unhook it and bring it in front of my face, where I extend it and shove it ahead of me like a prod.
I move forward again, even though the crawl space is getting more constricted and airless. Anyone else would start backing up. Raulâs tug on my left boot indicates thatâs what he thinks we should do. But my curiosity is fully aroused. Thereâs an opening up there; I can
feel
it, even if I canât see or smell it anymore. And if itâs just a stone blocking our way, then my pole, my fists and my determination will clear it.
The farther I advance, the more frantic the tugs on my boot. Raul knows itâs not like me to ignore him. Heâs the better caver. But Iâm focused on the blockage. I poke it with my pole tip, then wriggle forward to push it with my gloved hands and finally butt it with the front of my helmet. Whatever it is isnât solid. Whatever Iâve touched is now