Andrea Pickens - [Lessons in Love 03] Read Online Free

so, to keep his precious illusions alive, he convinced himself the blame lay with Alex. The real tragedy was that he succeeded in losing two sons instead of one."
    A collective gasp sounded from the ladies while Thomas turned as pale as his ecru cravat.
    "What you suggest is... a monstrous injustice."
    "Nonetheless, it is true. The accounts of the various fishermen who saw them set off all say the same thing. Jack had been drinking for hours, and it was he who persuaded Alex to take the boat out, even though he had been warned that a nasty storm was kicking up." The earl gave a mournful sigh. "Like all of you, Alex idolized his oldest brother, and the invitation to have a sail with him—just the two of them—was no doubt too special to turn down, despite the portent of bad weather. Think on it—you know Alex was a quiet, serious lad, who always preferred a book to a bottle of spirits. Does it make any sense that he would have been the one to suggest an afternoon sail. It was Jack who should have known better!" His lips compressed in a tight line. "I always felt your father was terribly unjust in his actions after the accident. Now that you are head of the family, William, I had hoped you might discover the truth for yourself and show more compassion."
    The marquess started to speak, but his uncle cut him off.
    "No, wait! I haven't finished. Have you any idea the living hell your brother has endured? When the sail blew out and the boat capsized, Alex managed to catch hold of Jack's hand. As wave after wave swept over them, it was your supposedly reckless youngest brother who clung to the hull while seeking to keep Jack from being pulled under. Alex kept begging him to hold on, but Jack finally just... let go. As he slipped beneath the waves, he called out one last time, a plea for his brother to save him." Ivor took a long draught of his brandy and stared into the fire. "Tell me, how would you like to face those dreams each night?" he asked quietly.
    William's face was now ghostlike in it pallor. "Father never told us any of this. He insisted the blame lay with Alex. You know Father—no Sheffield was allowed to make a mistake. They were not to be tolerated. Or forgiven."
    "What your father could not forgive was that his eldest son, the one he had groomed so carefully to be his successor, perished rather than the youngest."
    The marquess's hand passed over his brow. "How... how do you know what really happened?"
    "It seems I was the only one of the family who ever asked Alex what really happened. In the first few days after the accident, he needed desperately to speak of it. God knows, he blamed himself enough for Jack's death—he didn't need all of you to do so as well. But your father never understood that. When he began to treat Alex as little more than a murderer, well, something inside him did die. From then on, he refused to ever talk about it." The earl got up to refill his brandy. "Did you never question why he turned from a scholarly young man into a wild rakehell?"
    "It puzzled me," admitted William. "But I assumed he had got in with the wrong crowd at Oxford and had simply... changed."
    Thomas let out a heavy sigh as he darted a guilty look at his wife. His mouth crooked in a rueful grimace. "You have always felt that we have been too harsh on Alex. It seems you and your female intuition were right after all." He turned back to his uncle. "Why did not you tell us this sooner, so that we might have tried to make some sort of amends?"
    "While your father was alive, it was not my place to do so." Ivor's gaze shifted to the eldest Sheffield. "But you are head of the family now, William, and may set your own standards for the Sheffield family."
    There was another long silence. "If I have appeared overly harsh to you—all of you, mayhap it is because I... I did not wish to appear unworthy of the position. I never expected to take Father's place, you know."
    "Don't confuse being human with being weak, William. I have