from the north. It was hoped that the joint operation would clean out the Web once and for all. Arthropodan airstrikes began at dawn, followed by a ground assault. Immediately surface to air missiles brought down air wing fighters, blunting the attack. The spider commander graciously authorized very liberal rules of engagement for legionnaires – kill anything in the Web that moves. Spider refugees soon clogged the roads south.
“We seek political asylum,” shouted a spider standing in front of my armored car, waving a white flag. “How much will it cost?”
“Political asylum isn’t for sale,” I replied. “You will be detained until your case is reviewed.”
“We will languish in your gulags at the South Pole?” asked the spider, gathering twenty hatchlings about her in an obvious play for sympathy. “Have mercy!”
“America has no gulags at the South Pole.”
“If you don’t want money, how about we trade for something more personal,” offered the spider crack-ho, batting her mandibles at me. “Please, let us pass. We want to settle in Montana, the Land of Milk and Honey.”
“That’s Big Sky Country, not Milk and Honey.”
“Cheapskate, you would hold back on the milk and honey for my hatchlings?” asked the crack-spider, noting my tough negotiation skills. “How about I share my food stamps with you?”
“We’re searching for Polish Cartel kingpin Aaron Kosminski. Have you seen humans in the Web recently?”
“Maybe I have, and maybe I haven’t.”
“How would you like to be drafted?”
“Your human pestilence are dug in deep at the center of town. Good luck getting them out. They’re a hard lot.”
“You may pass,” I announced, passing out food stamps to the bedraggled refugees, keeping half for myself. A deal is a deal. I ordered the Legion column forward into battle.
* * * * *
The attack went well at first, but it was an ambush. Spiders popped out of holes behind us, firing RPGs. Sergeant Green took cover behind rubble with his squad.
“Don’t fire until they come into range,” he ordered.
“But that means we’re in range, too,” griped Private McQueen, letting rip a whole clip at the next building.
“What happened to Czerinski’s perfect plan to shock and awe the spiders?” complained Private Higuera, crouched behind a loose block of concrete. “We’ve got spiders behind us!”
“No plan survives initial contact,” advised Sergeant Green sagely. “Keep moving. Moving soldiers are harder to hit. Teamwork is the key to survival.”
“Teamwork gives the enemy more targets,” replied Private Higuera, not moving. “You first.”
“Try to look unimportant,” advised Private Knight, throwing a grenade at movement beyond the rubble. “The enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.”
“I feel better now.”
“Snipers shoot officers first,” agreed Corporal Tonelli. “Wait for the airstrike, then move forward.”
“Move forward?” scoffed Private Higuera as the first sortie hit the next building. “I’m not getting killed by friendly fire from fly boys.”
“Reach out and touch someone,” ordered Sergeant Green, leading the way. “Move out!”
Private McQueen emptied another magazine as they advanced behind a passing armored car. Suddenly a missile bounced off its armor, starting a small fire. Legionnaires dispersed for cover. A Legion lieutenant appeared with a map and compass, a bad omen.
“We’re going to die now for sure,” lamented Private Higuera. “I’ll bet that officer has another perfect plan.”
“Men!” shouted Lieutenant North, turning the map right-side-up. “Be brave. Most of you are untested. You’ve never seen the white elephant, but experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
“I hate elephants,” complained Private Higuera.
“We need intelligence on the enemy’s position. Higuera! Scout forward and report what you see.”
“Why me? You can get