Always In: The Shore Series Book 2 Read Online Free

Willow, but it sure as hell doesn't allow me to stop loving her."
    She let's go of my face and looks defeated. She shouldn't because I’m the one who is directionless.
    "I know. I know, just try and be patient. She's still got a long way to go mentally and physically, Cruz. Please if you love her, let her go. Just let her go."
    Willow walks away and I'm left standing alone again with my thoughts. No actions, just alone in a place where I’m lost. I feel so lost, that's until I see her. I see her hair whip around the corner without even seeing her face ’cause when I see her face, I'll know. I'll know she's happy, I'll know I can walk away and let her go on and live her life.
    But that's not what I see.
    Even though I see her shiny, bright-as-the-glowing-sun hair, it’s her walking with crutches, hobbling along the sidewalk that I see. Craw on one side and Thea on the other. I duck under the awning of the drugstore to hide, but I stare at her. I’m mesmerized by her. Not only her beauty that is now making my heart thump out of my chest, but to see her wounded, limping, and easing her way on those damn wooden sticks. Her head is down still and I can't see her face. I just want to see her face.
    Harlow. Look up, Turnip. Look at me, baby.
    And as though she heard me, she peers up and I see what I’ve been waiting to see for weeks and weeks. Her face, those eyes. I long to see happiness in them, but I don't. I don't see it. The one thing I wanted to see was her blue eyes radiating happiness but that's not what I see. I know her so well. I can tell that's not what she's feeling.
    Does it make it any better for me to walk away knowing she's hurting? No. It makes it worse. Even if she were happy, my feelings wouldn’t alter. I'd feel the same way. I think I really would. My heart and my world would crash down again no matter which outcome.
    She doesn't see me. I make sure of that as she disappears into Jax. With every step I take toward my apartment, I become numb. Pained.
    ***
    I play with the few dollars worth of quarters on the bar in front of me. I allow them to hit the bar from in between my fingers. Listening to them clank as they hit the wood. And I sing along with the words to the song. Not sure I’m using the right words or if they're coherent, but fuck it.
    How do you mend this broken man, how does a loser ever win... blah blah blah... Wah, wah wah...
    I feel a hand on my shoulder and a voice in my ear but I’m so drunk I’m not sure at first who it is.
    "I didn't take you for a Bee Gees’ fan there my friend." I spin on my stool in my drunken stupor to try and gage who the messenger of the words is. It's Max.
    "Max! Max a million, thanks a million. My friend of friends. What the hell you doin’ here?"
    I notice Porter or who I think is Porter behind him. I squint my eyes to try and focus.
    "P? Is that you?" He nods, well all three of him nod. I think.
    "It is you. Come 'ere and hug me, man. I missed you. What you all doin’ here?"
    The song of the night comes to an end and I stumble off my seat to play it again. I leave Porter and Max at the bar and stick my quarters in the jukebox.
    When I start to hear the soulful sounds of the three, British men in white leisure suits coming out of the magic box, I tap my fingers on it and sing along again. I hear someone tell me to shut the fuck up and I don't get angry, I just laugh. Max comes over to me and leads me back to my stool.
    "Cruz, buddy. How long have you been here? And how many times have you played this fucking song?"
    I giggle at Max. I think I giggle, no, no I giggle. I’m pretty sure I giggle. Fucking pussy.
    "Oh, I have no idea. Ask my friend here? Phil the bartender, how long have I been here for?" I hear him answer to Max, long enough. I gotta laugh at that. I’m giving him money and he's telling me basically I’ve had enough. But I’m not fully numb yet.
    In my haze I think, how'd they know I was even here?
    "How'd you two even know where I was?