Alien in My Pocket #5: Ohm vs. Amp Read Online Free Page B

into the air and began shaking them, like a silent cheer at a basketball game.
    Olivia turned her head toward me and slowly shook her head. I think she was holding back a smirk. “Look, Zack, they’re shaking hands.”
    â€œThey sure are,” I said with a smile. “Now that’s more like it.”

The Inspection
    S ince the Erdians were momentarily at peace in my room, and Olivia was technically my visitor, I decided to take the lead in questioning the strange Erdian.
    â€œListen, Mr. Ohm, what are you doing here? Is the invasion starting or what?”
    â€œYou told them?” he barked at Amp.
    I snapped my fingers to get Ohm’s attention again. “Hey, you obviously didn’t travel through those wormholes that go through space like Swiss cheese just to fight an imaginary wrestling match with my Erdian houseguest.”
    Apparently, Ohm was not impressed with my knowledge of space travel, which was easy to see by the way he scrunched up his face. “Don’t they learn about science on this planet?” he asked Amp.
    â€œThey do,” Amp replied with a shrug. “Some are better at it . . . than others.” He said this while gesturing to Olivia and then to me when he said “others.”
    â€œOh, stuff it,” I said. “You can’t even fix your own spaceship, smarty-pants.”
    â€œWhat?” Ohm exclaimed, turning again to Amp. “What’s wrong with your vehicle?”
    â€œThat’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ve spent my time here repairing my ship,” Amp said.
    â€œAnd destroying my perfectly ordinary childhood in the process,” I grumbled.
    Olivia harrumphed in frustration. “Uh, could we get back to the more pressing issue of whether we’re being invaded by little green men from outer space?”
    â€œBlue, you mean,” Amp corrected, looking down as if to double-check his color.
    Ohm just waved Olivia away like a fly at a picnic. “Attention, Scout Amp!” Ohm barked. Amp snapped instantly into a tall, rigid stance, fists at his side, antennas straight up, eyes staring straight ahead.
    Olivia and I looked at each other in surprise.
    Ohm looked Amp up and down like he was inspecting a used car for sale. He walked slowly around him, shaking his head in disappointment. I could swear he made a “tsk-tsk” sound when he looked at Amp’s backside.
    When he reached his original position in front of Amp, he nodded and Amp seemed to collapse back into his natural slump, exhausted from the effort of standing at attention.
    â€œWhat happened to you?” Ohm asked.
    â€œThe atmosphere damaged my ship’s central—”
    â€œI’m not talking about your ship; I’m talking about you. Look at you! It looks like you’ve eaten a lifetime’s supply of gribble grubs.”
    Olivia and I looked at each other. “Gribble grubs? Seriously?” she said.
    â€œIt is true,” Amp said, looking down at his feet, “I have grown fond of the earthling’s food.”
    â€œHe can go through a roll of SweeTarts like a termite can go through a toothpick,” I said, trying to help, but Amp shot me his please-shut-up look.
    Ohm continued. “I thought you had a copilot behind you, but it just turns out to be your rear end.”
    â€œOh, snap.” Olivia giggled. Now it was my turn to shoot her a look.
    â€œWhere is your fight, soldier? You’re spilling Erdian secrets to these earthling spies like a Yommer’s geyser.”
    â€œA what?” Olivia said, starting to enjoy herself.
    â€œHey, we’re not spies!” I protested. “This is my room. If anything, you’re the spy!”

    Olivia laughed and nodded at Ohm. “Oh, Zack got you good there, Grumpy Gills!”
    Ohm didn’t miss a beat. “You’ve grown pudgy and plump around the middle, scout. Distracted. Soft. Weak. Have you forgotten your mission?