Ain't Gonna Be the Same Fool Twice Read Online Free

made me laugh. It made me horny. Unfortunately, it made me hungry. And I was almost a size ten now.
    â€œI ain’t got so much as a roach, and all my connections went to Chicago for the weekend already.” Sharlinda sighed.
    â€œPlus, my money is funny and my change is strange. Unless y’all want to forget about the pizza.”
    â€œNo, I’m starving, after walking damn near two miles. Pour me another taste, girl.”
    â€œI’ll pour all of us another taste.” Sharlinda held up the half-empty bottle. “Let’s kill this bad boy.”
    Today got up and turned the album over. “Let’s order the doggone pizza—see if the line’s free.”
    I was the closest to the phone. “I know the number by heart.”
    â€œHello, hello.” I didn’t hear a dial tone. I wasn’t surprised that someone was on the line, because we all had party lines. But I couldn’t understand why nobody was talking. I just heard breathing.
    â€œHello. How come you’re not saying anything?” There was no reply.
    â€œThey’re not talking; just breathing.”
    â€œI’m sick of their shit!” Today shouted.
    â€œYou know who it is?” I asked.
    â€œDamn straight. It’s this hoogie down at the end of the hallway. They call themselves having an argument by just breathing on the phone, lately.”
    Hoogie was a word for white people, like honky and peckawood . Although hoogie usually referred to middle-class-white folks. I’d only heard it used by black students here on the Illinois prairie.
    Sharlinda frowned. “This is some really tired-ass shit.”
    I decided to talk some sense into these people tying up the line.
    â€œI need to use the phone. Please give up the line if you’re not gonna talk.” Now, who could resist that request. I’d been polite but firm. I listened for an apology or a click, but there was no response. I stared at the receiver in disbelief.
    â€œThis is beyond ridiculous!” Sharlinda yelled. “This is rodiculous! ”
    I hung up the phone.
    â€œYou should’ve slammed that mothafucka down!” Sharlinda shouted.
    â€œHave you complained to your R. A.?” I asked.
    â€œYeah, and it hasn’t done shit. I’ve had it up to here with these hoogies! Do you hear me? They’ve gotten on my last nerve. They think they own the whole damn world. The only one I can stand right now is Becky.”
    â€œStevie, girl, you too nice; trying to reason with them and shit. ‘Please give up the line if you’re not gonna talk.’” Sharlinda mimicked. “You let these hoogies run all over you.”
    I gulped my wine. “Nobody runs over me.”
    â€œYes they do, too. You can’t even make a simple-ass phone call.”
    â€œWell, let’s see if you have any better luck.”
    â€œOK.” Sharlinda grabbed the receiver. “Hang the mothafucka up, if you ain’t gonna talk. Goddamnit! You know this is a goddamn party line, shit!” Sharlinda yelled, leaving the receiver dangling from the wall.
    â€œWell, if that don’t work, nothing will,” Today sighed.
    I listened for a dial tone. “Sharlinda, looks like they’re still breathing. You wanna go downstairs and call from the desk?”
    â€œHell no! I don’t want to go downstairs and call from the goddamn desk! I have a constitutional right to use the mothafuckin’ phone!”
    â€œA constitutional right?” I laughed. “The telephone hadn’t even been invented when the Constitution was written.”
    Sharlinda folded her arms and twisted her neck.
    â€œThe Constitution guarantees me the right to freedom of speech, goddamnit! These hoogies are interfering with my right to speak. And I’m going to fight for my goddamn rights. Now, can I get a witness?”
    Today waved her hand like they do in church.
    â€œI think you might be stretching the