Agent to the Stars Read Online Free Page B

yourself to the planet, this is the place to start.”
    â€œOkay,” I said. I looked over at Carl. “The … Earjack—”
    â€œYherajk,” Carl said, pronouncing it yee-heer-aahg-k.
    â€œIt’s not our real name,” Joshua said, “but you couldn’t pronounce what we’re actually called.”
    â€œWhy not?” I asked.
    â€œWell, for one thing, it’s a smell,” Joshua said. “Would you like to smell it?”
    I glanced at Carl. He shrugged. “Sure,” I said.
    The room filled with a stench that resembled the offspring of a rotted sneaker and Velveeta. I gagged involuntarily.
    â€œGod, that’s horrible,” I said, and immediately regretted it.
“I’m very sorry,” I said. “That was probably the first-ever insult to an extraterrestrial. I apologize.”
    â€œNo offense taken,” Joshua said, mildly. “You should come to a Yherajk get-together. It’s like a convention of farts.”
    â€œI believe there was a question at the beginning of all this,” Carl said.
    â€œRight,” I said, and looked back to Carl. “How many people know about the Yherajk?”
    â€œIncluding you and me?” Carl said.
    â€œYes,” I said.
    â€œTwo,” Carl said. “Well, and a couple thousand Yherajk orbiting the planet. But among humans, it’s just you and me.”
    â€œWow,” I said.
    â€œIt’s not that hard to believe,” Joshua said. “If you run out of here and say that you’ve just met an alien that looks like gelatin and smells like a cat in heat, who’s going to believe you? All the really believable aliens have spines .”
    I ignored this. “Carl, why me?”
    Carl tilted his head at me, and regarded me like a favored child. Which, perhaps, I was. “What do you mean?” he asked.
    â€œI mean, I’m flattered that you picked me to help you to do …” I waved my hands around, “whatever it is that we’re going to be doing here. But I don’t know why you picked me.”
    â€œWell, it’s like I said,” Carl said. “I need someone who’s smart and that I can trust.”
    â€œI appreciate that,” I said. “But Carl, you don’t even know me. I’ve worked here for five years, and every other time we’ve spoken, it was in meetings, about our clients and how we were going to package them. And that wasn’t that often.”
    â€œDo you feel neglected?” Carl asked. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for that.”

    â€œNo, that’s not it,” I said. “It’s never bothered me. That’s not what I mean. What I mean is that I don’t know why you feel you can trust me, or why you think I’m smart. You can, and I am, but I wouldn’t have thought I’d be an obvious choice. I’m surprised you even thought of me.”
    Carl smirked, looked off for a second, as if communicating to an unseen audience, and then turned back to me. “Tom,” he said, “give me some credit for knowing something about the people who I employ.”
    I straightened up slightly. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Carl.”
    â€œYou haven’t,” he said. “My point here is simply that I’ve been aware of you and your work for this company. Your work speaks quite a bit as to the person you are, and as for the rest of it …” he shrugged. “Sometimes you take a chance.”
    â€œThanks,” I said.
    â€œAlso, to be blunt,” Carl continued, “you’re just a junior agent here. You’re flying under the radar. If any of the senior agents suddenly divested himself of his clients and started sneaking around, it would be noticed. There would be gossip. In-fighting. Stories in Variety and the Times . No one’s going to notice or care if you do the same thing.”
    It was my turn to smirk. “Well, my mother