have slept so soundly again. I make my way to the bathroom when there is a knock to the door.
‘Room service!’ I hear her say as I walk to the door and open it back.
‘Ah, there you are love,’ she says and brings the tray into the room, ‘where will I put it for you?’
‘Oh, anywhere,’ I say, standing there looking right into her face. ‘I hear from young Patrick that you had a big win in the bingo lately.’
‘Well, the little devil.’ She smiles, ‘that grandson of mine can never keep his mouth shut.’
‘Grandson?’ I say, a little taken aback. ‘He didn’t mention that.’
‘Yes, well that’s something at least, that young fella talks no end, never knows when to shut up. He reminds us of my eldest son, dead now this past fifteen years.’ I can see the tears forming in her eyes now as I walk to her and put my arm around her shoulder. ‘It still breaks my heart to think of him,’ she says quietly. ‘I always knew he was a little different from the rest. He was excessively soft as a boy. He had the mannerisms of a girl, if you know what I mean. But I loved him all the more. His father could never understand him. Said he should cop on to himself and would have the others laugh at him and call him a sissy. One day, we woke up and he was gone. I’ve resigned myself to the fact now that he is dead. After John my husband died, we had Denis’s name added to the grave stone.’
Standing here, with my arm around her shoulder and the biggest lump in my throat, I wanted to tell her how much I love her, now, even more. To think she knew my secret all along. But I realise it is best left unsaid. After all, the day that I walked into the hospital for my surgery, was the day Denis died for me too.
‘You know, Mrs. O’Conner, he was a lucky boy to have had a mother like you. I’m sure you made him very happy. Who knows maybe he is out there in the world having a whale of a time.’
‘Do you think so love?’
‘Yes, yes I do, and I’m sure wherever he is, he will be thinking of you... and if he could say one thing I’m sure it would be “I love you too Ma.”’
‘Thank you my love, you know this is the first time I have spoken about him to anyone in a long, long time. This is almost better than winning the bingo.’ She smiles up into my face.
‘Yes it is, isn’t it?’ I say, ‘Well, I had better let you get back to work. Otherwise the other rooms will be ringing to know where their breakfast is. It was so lovely to have met you Mrs. O’ Conner. You take care of yourself, won’t you?’
‘Yes indeed I will love. Lovely to have met you too. Sorry… what did you say your name was again?’
‘Oh, you know I don’t think I did. It’s Denise, Denise O’Conner.’ I stand there for what seems like an eternity, watching for a reaction. She just smiles up at me.
‘Well, what do you know, an O’ Conner. We must surely be related. Do any of your family come from down this side of the country?’
‘You’d never know now would you?’ I say and give her one final hug goodbye before she turns to go out of my life forever. ‘Well, goodbye love. It was really lovely to have met you and if you’re ever in town again let me know and maybe I’ll take you to the Bingo with me.’
And off she goes, out the door. I finally got to say my goodbye. I know now that I could never come back here. Denis O’Conner died a long time ago.
At least I got one last chance to hold her near. Now it’s time to move on.
H ARVEY
The room is dark as I wake and there is a stale smell hanging in the air. I try to get my bearings of the room but my head hurts too much. Why do I feel like I have a tonne weight lying on my chest? My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I need a drink.
I get up and make my way to the window falling over something or other lying on the floor. Damn, my ankle hurts. I swing out of the curtains to keep myself from falling over. The autumn sunlight flickers through the room and almost