A Pretty Pill Read Online Free
teenager.
“I’ll help wherever I can!” I lament.
“And you’ll always be welcome dear... it’s just Silas... well, he’s so hard!” she explains.
It dawns on me ; they don’t want Silas, because of all his shit! I can kind of understand, but he’s their flesh and blood!
“But this is family!” I complain.
“We aren’t equipped to deal with him honey!” She replies.
“Can’t you just take him till I get sorted out, and then I promise, I’ll take him to live with me!” I plead.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, we just can’t do it!” She refuses.
I feel like a lump of coal has been placed in my chest, in the space that my heart used to be. So without further thought, I hang up and scream at the wall in front of me.
I’m on my own. I have no support, and nobody seems to care that both Silas and I are suffering too. We have only each other left, and even the mother of my own mother can’t see past her grief and pain to understand that her own flesh and blood are having to do what she should be doing.
I understand that my Gran thinks that children shouldn’t die before their parents and that it makes her grief more; but come on, I disagree. I don’t think there is a sliding scale of pain experienced here.
Silas is 12, and only has us left... he’s lost everything he should have in order to grow; and now he’s also being abandoned by two people meant to be in his corner.
I’m 19, and I’ve just committed myself to getting my shit together to raise a child, through the most difficult years of a kid’s life; and I don’t have any skills or knowledge on how to do it!
But he’s my brother... he’s my flesh and blood ; and if my grandparents can’t see their responsibilities right in front of their eyes; I will! I’m not blind; I’ll take him on, and I’ll give him everything I can, because that’s what family do, it’s what they should do, and it’s what I will do!
Silas is my responsibility, and I’ll make every effort, because I’m the only one he has left... and I love him!
***
“Hello?” I gush ; I’ve been waiting for this call for hours. I woke at the crack of dawn so I wouldn’t miss him calling me. It’s now 9:00 am, and I start work at 10:00am, to cater for all the lonely Christmas crowd.
“Merry Christmas.” Silas says flatly over the phone. It’s a private number, and I’m not allowed to have it. I have been making requests all week to have Silas with me, but the family he is with wouldn’t allow it. Apparently, they couldn’t make it into Newcastle from Maitland, it’s about a 30 minute drive; and I wasn’t allowed to take Silas on my bike; especially since I’m not allowed to double on my Ps anyway.
I did request that I be allowed to visit, but that got thrown back in my face in seconds.
I haven’t seen him since he left the hospital, twelve days ago.
I’m spending Christmas alone, in a flat in Broadmeadow, which I moved into on the 18 th. There are two rooms, a kitchen and a lounge. There is also a bathroom, which is the size of a small ensuite. I’ve used up every cent I had to not only pay the bond and two weeks rent for this roach infested sweatbox; but to buy second hand furniture, kitchen goods, and dining items... like plates, forks and cups. I had thought on going to Armidale and getting our stuff when I had some more money, and Silas to help me, but this place is disgusting; I don’t want nice stuff here.
I’ve gone back to work and I’m taking everything that Warren can throw at me, which right now is every day, since they still won’t let me have my brother.
I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I feel like they look at me like I abused him... like he’s so fucked up in the head because of me. I can only imagine what that family think, with all of Silas’ drugs and counselling; and his battle wounds from the car and tree. Apparently they don’t get told why he’s in
“I’ll help wherever I can!” I lament.
“And you’ll always be welcome dear... it’s just Silas... well, he’s so hard!” she explains.
It dawns on me ; they don’t want Silas, because of all his shit! I can kind of understand, but he’s their flesh and blood!
“But this is family!” I complain.
“We aren’t equipped to deal with him honey!” She replies.
“Can’t you just take him till I get sorted out, and then I promise, I’ll take him to live with me!” I plead.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, we just can’t do it!” She refuses.
I feel like a lump of coal has been placed in my chest, in the space that my heart used to be. So without further thought, I hang up and scream at the wall in front of me.
I’m on my own. I have no support, and nobody seems to care that both Silas and I are suffering too. We have only each other left, and even the mother of my own mother can’t see past her grief and pain to understand that her own flesh and blood are having to do what she should be doing.
I understand that my Gran thinks that children shouldn’t die before their parents and that it makes her grief more; but come on, I disagree. I don’t think there is a sliding scale of pain experienced here.
Silas is 12, and only has us left... he’s lost everything he should have in order to grow; and now he’s also being abandoned by two people meant to be in his corner.
I’m 19, and I’ve just committed myself to getting my shit together to raise a child, through the most difficult years of a kid’s life; and I don’t have any skills or knowledge on how to do it!
But he’s my brother... he’s my flesh and blood ; and if my grandparents can’t see their responsibilities right in front of their eyes; I will! I’m not blind; I’ll take him on, and I’ll give him everything I can, because that’s what family do, it’s what they should do, and it’s what I will do!
Silas is my responsibility, and I’ll make every effort, because I’m the only one he has left... and I love him!
***
“Hello?” I gush ; I’ve been waiting for this call for hours. I woke at the crack of dawn so I wouldn’t miss him calling me. It’s now 9:00 am, and I start work at 10:00am, to cater for all the lonely Christmas crowd.
“Merry Christmas.” Silas says flatly over the phone. It’s a private number, and I’m not allowed to have it. I have been making requests all week to have Silas with me, but the family he is with wouldn’t allow it. Apparently, they couldn’t make it into Newcastle from Maitland, it’s about a 30 minute drive; and I wasn’t allowed to take Silas on my bike; especially since I’m not allowed to double on my Ps anyway.
I did request that I be allowed to visit, but that got thrown back in my face in seconds.
I haven’t seen him since he left the hospital, twelve days ago.
I’m spending Christmas alone, in a flat in Broadmeadow, which I moved into on the 18 th. There are two rooms, a kitchen and a lounge. There is also a bathroom, which is the size of a small ensuite. I’ve used up every cent I had to not only pay the bond and two weeks rent for this roach infested sweatbox; but to buy second hand furniture, kitchen goods, and dining items... like plates, forks and cups. I had thought on going to Armidale and getting our stuff when I had some more money, and Silas to help me, but this place is disgusting; I don’t want nice stuff here.
I’ve gone back to work and I’m taking everything that Warren can throw at me, which right now is every day, since they still won’t let me have my brother.
I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I feel like they look at me like I abused him... like he’s so fucked up in the head because of me. I can only imagine what that family think, with all of Silas’ drugs and counselling; and his battle wounds from the car and tree. Apparently they don’t get told why he’s in
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