A Not So Model Home Read Online Free

the real-estate agents were doing their best to hide it—even the ones with dozens of listings and a seemingly thriving business. You could see it in the clothes and the cars. You noticed that people were wearing the same outfits over and over—instead of tossing them into the trash after a few wearings when times were good. The cars said it all too. They were no longer sparkling clean every day of the week. Or, you noticed that they kept on being traded down, from top-of-the-line BMWs and Mercedes to the lower-end versions of the same models. Or worse, to Hyundais and Kias. When the mask falls off, it really makes a thud.
    I went back into my office and signed the ominous paperwork, deciding once and for all to commit personal suicide and to stop worrying about it.
    Then I had to get back to the business of selling homes in a market where no one was buying. I hunted Alex down and found him at the copier.
    â€œI got another call from Angry Woman again. She wants to know why her house hasn’t sold yet.”
    â€œWhich Angry Woman? Be more specific.”
    â€œMrs. Begley?”
    Alex raised his splayed hands on either side of his head to express mock surprise.
    â€œDid you tell her that her house is uglier than the south end of a northbound pig, it needs tens of thousands of dollars in repairs because she’s either too lazy, cheap, or stupid to fix things when they start rotting, and it’s overpriced by $200,000?”
    I shook my head.
    â€œI told her that you and I work in the market. We don’t control it,” I said.
    â€œTo which she responded . . .”
    â€œShe said she wants to see her house on television. She thinks this whole Internet thing is a fad and TV is the way to go.”
    â€œAmanda, we explained that to Mrs. Begley. Close to ninety percent of all people look for homes on the Internet. Local media is only for those agents to trumpet their listing and get more of them. Those ads don’t sell homes.”
    â€œShe said she wants to see her home on The Tonight Show . She likes Leno.”
    â€œLet me tell you what, Amanda. Let’s just get rid of all the overpriced listings and all the fucked-up sellers.”
    â€œThen we wouldn’t have any homes for sale, Alex.”
    â€œThat’s not true, Amanda. What about James Murray? His home is mid-century, it’s priced right, it looks great.”
    â€œThe last agent who showed it said there were one hundred twenty rifles stacked in the closet and that there was a six-month supply of food, water, and ammunition in the garage.”
    â€œSo the guy likes to hunt, Amanda. . . . And hydrate often. What about Janis Frommer?”
    â€œShe shot her husband in the face with buckshot on the front lawn of her home after she found him in bed with her sister.”
    â€œShe has anger-management issues. So what?”
    â€œAlex, I know you are fed up with all the shit in this business. Me too. This used to be a pleasant business to be in. You took people around, they found a nice home, they went to get a loan and got it without threatening anyone, and the house sold and we got paid. Now, it’s like a hatchet fight with the two opponents handcuffed to each other.”
    â€œI think it’s more like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Week after week.”
    â€œI have had just about as much as I can take. The sellers think they’re sitting on a pile of gold and that they’re in the driver’s seat, and when someone is stupid enough to put a full-price offer on a home, then we can’t make the appraisal and the whole deal falls apart and the seller yanks the listing from you after you’ve spent all this time and money, only to give it to another agent who’s desperate to have a listing under his or her belt.”
    â€œThat’s it in a nutshell, Amanda. The sellers are unrealistic and haven’t come to the reality that their house is worth a lot less than they