A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball Read Online Free

would.
    That’s when I immediately switch—like BOOM—into full-time single-daddy mode, calling Lisa Joseph back and asking her to call Brand Jordan to get clothes and shoes sent over ASAP and to check right away with the school and preschool so we can have the boys enrolled by Monday. I also want to set up appointments with their Miami doctors. In our appeal to the court for custody a lot of legwork had already been done. We had already put up security gates and kid-proofed the house for their visits but having extra safety supplies would be good. What we needed was a desk where they could be all set up to do homework. Then there’s Shellye Martin, my longtime interior designer, who has been working on designs to make the guest bedroom where they sleep more kid-friendly. “Oh, and I want to talk to Shellye about how fast we can get the bunk beds. And bedding, don’t forget the bedding!”
    Suddenly, I’m like Dwyane Wade, the director, on the phone marshaling the troops, talking about how I need this done, that done, and how fast. Wow! This is not usually my MO but when the responsibility I asked to have is given to me, what else am I going to do but rise to the challenge?

    AND THAT WAS WHEN I REALIZED SOMETHING ELSE THAT paved the way for this book. First, it occurred to me that there was no guidebook out there that defined and detailed what being a great full-time single dad really was. Where was the game plan for getting this right? Well, if there wasn’t one, then I would need to draw from the past and do the legwork to create one of my own.
    Fatherhood, to me, isn’t something you do for awards or acclaim. It’s a privilege and a huge responsibility. Of course, the recognition I’ve been given has been flattering—except I don’t think it makes sense to honor me for what I should be doing in the first place. That said, I do hope that by opening up in ways I haven’t in the past, I can encourage other fathers or father figures to get more involved with their kids’ lives.
    Another reason I’m writing this book is for Zaire and Zion. My hope is that in retracing some of my steps in life, both successful and not, I can pass on important lessons taught to me by others and that I had to pick up on my own. But I also want them to know there are no shortcuts or easy answers to being a father first, my life’s mission. I want them to know I’m learning still, sometimes on the fly.
    Who really tells you how to be a dad? No one. Which is why I want to share my discoveries about how every child is different and you therefore have to parent each differently. I want to address the priorities I’m a stickler for—my beliefs about respect, responsibility, hard work, having dreams, and always being open to learning. Just as important, I want my boys, including my nephew Dahveon, to know they are my best teachers when it comes to being a good father.
    For those men who are dads but not fully engaged as fathers, I want to urge you not to miss out on the greatest rewards and blessings that your children represent in your life. A lot of guys have approached me and asked how to become more involved when circumstances have kept you out of your kids’ lives. Hopefully you’ll find useful suggestions in my story. Aside from an abundance of reading materials, many communities provide all kinds of classes that promote the values of coparenting, which I can’t stress enough.
    My sincere hope is to inspire both fathers and mothers who may feel challenged by single parenthood or by your current situation. I’m really writing for all parents, including those foster parents or relatives who raise kids that may not be biologically their own, as well as coaches, teachers, advocates, and mentors. By investing our love and energy and time in young people and in their development, we change and heal our world.
    And, finally, I wanted to write this book for the kid in every single person out there so you can know the power of love