A Deadly Affection Read Online Free

“That he knew what was best?”
    Her huge eyes fixed on mine. “No,” she said slowly, a trace of defiance in her voice. “I loved her. I would have taken good care of her, no matter how hard it was.”
    I said nothing, letting her savor this new perspective. “Perhaps he was the one who acted badly, then,” I suggested after a moment.
    I could see her turning this idea over in her mind. I didn’t expect a reply; I had only wanted to plant the possibility. I glanced around the room, the same room that had seemed so barren just moments before, and felt the seeping warmth of accomplishment. Perhaps the morning hadn’t been a complete disaster after all.
    She continued gazing into the distance, apparently lost in thought.
    I touched her arm. “Eliza?”
    She swiveled toward me. “I’m going to do it. Tomorrow.”
    â€œDo what?”
    â€œAsk Dr. Hauptfuhrer.” She stood. “It’s her birthday in two days, on January 8. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, this time, I knew where she was?”
    I rose beside her. “You realize he may not have kept track of her. And even if he has, he probably won’t tell you.”
    â€œHe might,” she said, smoothing her skirt front with her palms. “If I insist.”
    The notion of this unassuming woman insisting on anything was so incongruous that I couldn’t help smiling. “Eliza…”
    â€œI have to try,” she said, her cheeks flushing. “I owe her that.”
    I hesitated, wondering whether I should attempt to dissuade her. But before I could say anything more, she had picked up her coat and started for the door.
    At the partition’s splintering edge, she stopped. “I’m going to telephone him as soon as I get home, to tell him that I’m coming. That way, I won’t lose my nerve.” She smiled hesitantly. “Will you wish me luck?”
    Again I was struck by how innocent—and how very vulnerable—she appeared. “Good luck, Eliza.”
    Her smile brightened, and then she turned and vanished around the corner.
    She wasn’t gone two seconds before the professor’s words started circling in my head: The therapist’s extraordinary power within the therapeutic relationship must be carefully exercised; the impact of his words and behavior on the patient cannot be overestimated…
    I was aware, of course, that Eliza’s story had affected me on a personal level, and in more ways than one. But I didn’t believe I had allowed this to influence my conduct. After all, it was she, not I, who had suggested questioning the doctor. And looking at it objectively, I couldn’t say that this was an inappropriate course of action. She’d been so riddled with guilt all these years that she’d never been able to speak up for herself or even acknowledge her tremendous loss. Asserting herself with Dr. Hauptfuhrer had to be a move in the right direction. She needed to regain faith in herself, to learn to respect her own rights, and to recognize the injury that had been done to her before she could move on with her life.
    I returned to my desk to gather my things. In all likelihood, the doctor would be either unwilling or unable to disclose her daughter’s current whereabouts, so there was little chance for complications on that score, whatever my feelings on the subject might be. Eliza would be disappointed, of course—but in the process of asking, she’d be taking her first step toward recovery. And that, I told myself as I pulled on my coat, was all her psychotherapist could ask for.

Chapter Two
    I emerged from the parish house to find that the sky had clouded over and a few light snowflakes were falling. Pulling up my collar, I retraced my steps north through the bustle of Yorkville and west across Ninety-Second Street toward home. By the time I reached my block, the snow was coming down steadily, stirred by gusts off